Heal Nick

I hope I am sending this to the correct category!

Hi Nick! My name is Tracey and I am a fellow TBI survivor. I met your mother and sister a few days ago in a store where I work. I approached your mother because she was wearing a BABIS Walk t-shirt, and I went up to her and asked her if she did the walk. I have done the walk for the last three years. She told me about you, and gave me this website.

I suffered TBI a little more than 11 years ago, when I was 16 years old. I was in the hospital for 4 months (three of those months in SRH pediatric unit). When I was a patient there, I asked my parents to kidnap me because I hated being there. At the time, I did not realize that I NEEDED to be there. But now I am so grateful to all the doctors, nurses, therapists, and anybody else who help in my recovery there. My family was there for me evey step, but at the same time, let me try some things on my on, even if they new I would “forget” or lose my balance or something…..

I have short term memory loss (post it notes everywhere around my house!), occasional migraines, but you know what? I have a full time job at the high school, and part time at a retail store at the mall. After the accident/hospital/rehab (I had to take a full year off from school) I went right into my senior year in high school, went on to college to get my Bachelor’s in Sociology!

There is still so much more I want to accomplish, and there is NOTHING stopping me, and I hope you realize, or already know, that the sky is the limit!!!

Tracey

Hi Nicholas,

I just wanted to write a note to let you know that I have been following your journey. Whether it be visiting the website or your visits into my dreams, I am glad we are still in touch! I still remember the first day we met like it was yesterday. I am so proud of you and happy to be a part of your life. Don’t forget, you promised Elizabeth a date to Museum of Fine Arts.

Lots of Love-Emily

What a difference a year makes! We never had our sledding day this winter as there was not much snow but I am hopeful for next season.
Hope you enjoy your card and have a fab day.
Sheila and tons of little doggies in NH

Nick,
Happy Birthday! I wish I could tell you this in person, but not this year. Each year marks another year that I have known you and I, selfishly, am so glad to have a friend like you. You will never truly know what you mean to me. You are an incredible person and I wish you happiness for the year to come. I miss you and hope to see you soon- I don’t really know when my next east coast trip will be, but you’re certainly on my list.
Hugs and love
Jess

Hey there Nick,
I realized yesterday while waiting in front of the photocoier at school that I am almost always composing letters to you in my head that never make it to paper. And often, if they do make it to paper, don’t make it into the mail. In some way I have a feeling that doesn’t really matter, that although I don’t send them to you, you do get the messages somehow. I appreciate that about you and our friendship. I am sorry that I haven’t been better about actually getting things to you.

For instance I have something for you from my recent trip to Peru. Instead of mailing it, I’ve decided to hang onto it until I see you next. I guess that way I can’t feel guilty for not sending it. Also, I will be coming to Boston the 18th of this month (for a few days to visit family and hopefully, you!). I really want to see you while I’m there and can get this gift to you then!

What is the best way to reach you or your family? It’s been too long.
Miss you and think of you everyday!
Hugs and love
Jess

Dear Nick,

Hey there my dear friend!!

I just want to thank you so very much for the sweet
Valentine’s poem. That was very thoughtful and well written. You and Peter make quite the poetic duo!!! Im very impressed and inspired to write my own! I thought I would hit you back with some words of my own, from a song I wrote:

Time flows by, never a moment the same
My life is a river, the only constant is change
I will swim through this life with the moon in my eyes
Finding a groove on this sweet dream through my
mind….

In a meadow golden with the mountains towering high
I am dancing to the sound of the wind that is passing by
And in the hush of the buzz of the city air
Serenity of my heartbeat and the intent to care…..

You know everything, allow yourself to remember
Your life may only go so far….
As your will to surrender…
To the Love that YOU ARE!
To the love that you are.

Well thats one of my favorite concepts of
life…knowing that we ARE LOVE at the core. That is
the most powerful reminder that I ever have. And you,
Nick, are LOVE at the core. You eminate such light I
can feel you glowing right now.

I miss you! Bobcat misses you too. We are living in
New Mexico in the artsy town of Santa Fe. We really
like it here and are making it home for now. But
whenever we come to Boston you know we will be coming to visit you. We visit you in our dreams all the time, you are with us like a brother always, we are with you right now.

The most exciting thing I have to share with you is
that Bobcat and I are PREGNANT! I mean, of course, Im pregnant, but both of us are going to have a baby next October!!! WOW! Can you believe it? We are going to bring a soul of light into this world. You gotta keep up that poetry so you can write the little one sometime. We are also getting married this summer on the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. Many things bubbling in excitement in our world. We are so happy and very much in love……

We love you so much Nick. We are sending you huge heaps of support and encouragement and inspiration. Keep up the good work, all the therapies I know are challenging but we give you big HOORAHS for all your progress. You rock!

I will stay in touch more often, sorry for the long
times between emails. I want you to know that you are always on my mind and in my prayers.
You are a stellar human and rock solid friend.
Take good care and please give my love to your
wonderful Peter and Lucy.

Big love from Daisy and Bobcat!!!

Nick, Shane here, I was excited you recognized my voice on the phone after not seeing me for 2 months!! ( i tested him )

I sent an update out to the burning man family about your recent success being patient of the year! Everyone will be glad to know you are doing ok and keepin on…
i love you man, keep up the good work!!
Shane

Hello Nick, we missed you at the Lodge on last Friday night, but gave you a large toast and a wish for recovery in the new year. I was reminded of you the other day. We have a new tenant that runs up and down the inner stairs instead of walking like the rest of us slower people. I always knew when you were home by the pounding on the steps and knew you were off to your next adventure (or else running late!) We all wish you lots of energy in the next year and are VERY glad that you are around for 2006.
Much love, See you soon
Elizabeth and David

Hey Nick:
Just a quick note to wish you and your family a very merry christmas. I hope you’re comfortable and have adjusted to life in Manchester.
I recently moved into my new place in the Charlestown Navy Yard–I’m enjoying the city and, of course, the easy commute to work.
I spoke to Stav-wo, and we’re going to try and get up there soon together–would love for the 3 of us to hang out.
Again, here’s wishing the entire Robbins clan a happy and healthy holiday.

Love, T.J.

nick,
well, wednesday i head to lima, peru for sarah’s (my sister’s) wedding. i’ll be down there for about 2 weeks. not sure if they have mini mugs there, but i’ll be sure to find something just as good, if not better, for you.
hope you have a wonderful holiday.
miss you.
hugs and love
jess

Nick,
Just wanted to let you know that I am thankful to have you in my life.
Thank you for being such an amazing friend!
I hope you have an incredible weekend.
Hugs and love
Jess

Nick - Peter and I were in New Zealand when you had your accident. We were contacted by George and Chandler Woodland. At an email cafe, reading an email from George - we discovered that we were staying at the same hotel as Lucy and Peter. At the hotel we discovered that we were in the room right next-door. We learned all about you and what a wonderfull young man you are and spent time and enjoyed meals with Lucy and Peter. We are very impressed with your progress. It always seems slow when it’s “your” progress but you’ve come a long way. Keep up the good work. Our love to you, Lucy and Peter. Sally & Peter Blommer (Milwaukee WI)

Nick,
We are a bit late joining your recovery fans. Congratulations on your progress so far. It must be better being at home. We look forward to being able to say hello in person. Keep up the good work.
Much Love,
Arthur and Kate Chute

Nicholai,
Looks like I won’t be coming back to Boston afterall, well not right now, anyway. Poop. Well, that was more of a thought than a command, I hope you didn’t listen and go…. k, done with that train of thought. Sorry, in a silly mood I guess. It must be this cool weather I’m having out here. So nice to turn off the A/C and open the windows without being oppressed by humidity. Hooray for the midwest (or central US really, not really west or mid).
I hope to see you soon enough and am sure you’re doing well in Manchester.
Hugs and love
Jess

Nick,
It looks like I might be coming to Boston for a few days very soon. Unfortunately it’s not for a very good reason (family stuff), but the good part is that if I do make it out there I might be able to see you in Manchester. I’ll keep you posted on that. I hope I get to see you, but if not, you know I’m still thinking about you all the time.
Have a great move.
Hugs and love
Jess

Nicholas
All digits are crossed. I am certain that you will continue on the upward slope of your recovery with the comfort and stimulus of home. And how excited you must be! See you in October.
Auntie She

Nick,
What great news to hear that you’re going to be going home with your family. I am so excited. I keep telling people who don’t know you as if they will understand, not remembering that they don’t know you. Oh well. They can humor me and be excited with me for you.
I wish I could give you a BIG huge. I guess a mind hug will have to do for now.
Have a great week and a good transition. I can’t wait to see you again in a different place. Not sure when that will be, but it will be.
Hugs and love
Jess

I just realized that if I write to you on a Saturday, you’re more likely to get the note sooner, since Sunday is the day there’s an update posted.

So, here goes… quick note today since it’s about time to eat for me. I started my student teaching in Columbus, Indiana, at the middle school. I’ll be there for six weeks and am very excited. So far the kids are great and I really enjoy the teacher with whom I’m working. She’s so friendly and our philosophies of teaching are very much in line.

Other than that I’m fighting the fatigue of teaching and going to class and working. Having one day off a week is going to be difficult, but I will manage. You know me, working all the time is what I do best. Don’t forget the days of the Kitchen Witch and YMCA. It’s pretty much like that, getting up around 5:30am and getting home late at night. I’m trying to keep myself in check with some yoga and other more active things.

Hope you’ve had a good week. Miss you, as usual.
Hugs and love
Jessie

nick,
i had an amazing dream about you last night. i’ll definitely write it down and add it to my letters to nick that i want to read to you in person someday. it was incredible. you were here at my house (maybe you were dreaming of me, too and that’s what it came from?), and we had an awesome conversation.

i awoke so happy to have seen you, and talk with you again.

missing you.
hugs and love
-jess

hey nick,
just found a letter i wrote to you a while ago. i think i’m just going to keep adding to it and get it to you someday, like a neverending letter, i guess.

i’m trying to get everything in order at my house before my fall classes start on monday. a big part of that is finally unpacking some of the small boxes from my move at the beginning of this month. i’m certainly finding random nick items, or things that definitely remind me of you.

so, of course, i had to write. just want to say hi. i keep checking in and checking out all the photos that get posted here. you look great! and it’s amazing to hear how well you’re doing… there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that you would work this hard.

i miss you.

hope to see you soon.
hugs and love
jess

Dear Nickolas,
The Partridge family rally enjoyed our picnic lunch with you and your family last Sat. at Briar Hill. It was a typical lazy day on the Cape with lots of people and lots of dogs milling around the porch. We were all very pleased to see your continuing progress, especially with your walking, eating, and talking, and we could tell how happy you were to be at one of your favorite places. Lucy took some special photos of you meeting Gus, the newest member of our family ( Heather’s 5 week old son), and you seemed to “connect” with him right away……fun to see!
Keep up the good work, and we look forward to seeing you at the Cape or Manchester or Spaulding soon.
The Partridges

Hi Nicholas- I’m in Salt Lake City at the Outdoor Retailer Show buying for our store for next summer. All this outdoor stuff always makes me think of you. I saw your dad’s posting this morning and was delighted to see that you are fiddling around with the computer. And it does sound like you’re up to some of your old impish tricks.

Keep up the good work and progress- you’re doing a terrific job and must be a great source of pride for all your therapists!!!
Love- Julie (Adams)

Nick,
Man, I wish I was in Boston so I could see you more often. Grad school has taken over my life in these past 8 weeks and I’m sorry I haven’t been more in touch with you. I now, however, have high speed internet access at my house… no more dial up insanity for me. Hoping I can check in on you more often now and to write more again as I did earlier in the summer.
I’m actually procrastinating right now, me, procrastinate, yeah right! I guess that’s a side of me you never got to see. I’m in the middle of a psych paper that’s due tomorrow and thought I’d check up on you. Seems like you’ve had so many visitors. I really wish I could be one of them, lucky enough to see you in person. Well, again sometime, I’m sure… but for now, school and Indiana. I’m hating the miles missing you.
Have a great week and I’ll write more soon.
Hugs and love
Jess

nick,
i have officially finished my first indiana university course. thank god that one’s over. i feel an awkward sense of relief knowing that it’s done but that in just 4 days i start grad school!!! you know me, i work insane hours and always have. i’ve gotten used to the crazy work/class/homework schedule i’ve been keeping for the past 6 weeks and now that i have TWO WHOLE AFTERNOONS free, i don’t know what to do with myself. i’ve been playing with woody a lot and sleeping a lot. but i really wish i could come hang out with you a bit. too bad there are about 1000 miles between that actually happening. someday i will be rich, don’t ask me how because i have yet to figure that one out, but i will be, and i will be able to randomly fly to wherever in the world you are at the moment and have dinner with you, or just hang out for a few hours and then head back home, wherever that will be at the time. well, let’s see, if i’m rich, chances are it will be some small hut in the middle of nowhere. hey, i can’t be rich if i spend all my money on a huge house, right? i knew you’d understand. or better you get rich and fly to me love you, man.
obviously i miss you and think of you all the time.
have a good day.
hugs and love
jess

Nick,
To balance off your pretty chill week last week, I will tell you about my crazy weekend. First all last week when I got back from Boston, Woody, yes another dog story, was pretty sick. I won’t go into details but I’ll say that he was on meds, not eating a lot and very sleepy, just not himself. Saturday night he ran out the door and up the hill and disappeared. The first burst of energy in a week and he runs away. He’s notorious for running away, but it usually happens in daylight hours when someone can see him, stops to get him or he runs right up to the next person he sees. Luckily he’s a friendly dog. However, this was midnight, very dark, and he doesn’t like coming to his name when he’s outside. We think he thinks this is a game. We looked all around and couldn’t find him. Of course I was distraught and not realy sure what to do. So I left messages for the nearby animal control offices, cried and went to bed. Sunday I had to work but before work I made flyers and posted them in a few stores near the house. Drove around looking for him some more and then went into work. Now, this whole time I’m thinking that if he goes up to someone they’ll call because he has tags, so I knew he hadn’t found anyone yet. We live on 12 acres of land and I was worried he was running around in the woods. Well, indeed, he was. Monday morning he ran up to a woman outside of her house SIX MILES east of where we live. I was so excited. So that was the weekend. Very glad he’s home. And very glad his tags are easy to see/read. She said they were great.
So, all in all thinsg were good, but hectic for a while. You know me, I like to stay busy, so I guess it wasn’t too much of a surprise that I had extra to do and think about all weekend.
Other than that I am finally getting to the end of this summer writing course I’m taking. It is so horrible. So, for a writing class wouldn’t you think you would end with a bit paper? Yeah, me, too; however, we are ending with group projects, and my group… okay, I’ll be nice here… they aren’t very dedicated to the class. So, I’ll be gald when that’s over and I get started on my grad courses.
On that note, I need to get to some work for that presentation. Hope you guys have more good weather out there this weekend so you can hang out in the sun, well, for you in the shade (he he), but you know what I mean.
hugs and love
-Jess

Nick,
What can I say? … it was wonderful to see you today. Even though you were sleeping a lot of the time I was there, I got a chance to do some homework with good company. I guess we missed that time of our lives and never got to do homework together; well, I guess now we can say we have. That’s one of my favorite parts about school, doing homework in the room with someone else who’s doing something of their own. In this case you were sleeping and I was reading, and that was perfect.

I also finally got a chance to meet your mum, Kristen and your dad, and to see Lucy again (I’m pretty sure I told you I met her in the Kitchen Witch when I was working there). Now I only have about 20 immediate family members left, right? Sorry, couldn’t help it. I just remember going to the Northshore Mall to do Christmas Shopping one year. I had my brother and my sister and you had just a few more.

This will have to be short, as I have a paper due as soon as I get back to Indiana. Man, I wish I could stay longer and hang out with you much more. Although I know you’re “around” since you pop in and out of my dreams, I do miss talking with you and just being around you. You are amazing, and have influenced me in more ways than you could know (yes, even more than just teaching me the meaning of the word ‘anathema’-although I think you made me look it up on my own). I hope your physical therapy session went well after I left. I’m sure it did. You looked like you were reading to get to it when you woke up from your nap.

Okay, I did say short, right? I try, but that never actually happens. Have a good night.
Hugs and love,
Jess

Hello Nick~
Its Daisy D. here sending a big hug and bright smile of sunshine to light up the whole room! I think about you every day, my brother, amidst our travels. I envision you awakening to this world in your strong body daily, riding that mega wave that takes you in to the turquoise cove, and hang gliding over snow capped valleys with the wind in your hair. And me and Bobcat are right there with ya, but you always have a funnier punchline to cap it all off. We miss you and although we are half way across the planet be assured that we are coming closer to you every day, arriving in the Beantown zone the first week of July. If you havent seen a clandar lately, that is in a jiffy! We have enjoyed stories from Jake and Ralph about visiting you and look so forward to looking into your eyes again. Dont worry about missing out on your trip to India with us, this place isnt going anywhere. We’ve been riding our beastly motorcycle through the desert and mountains and sending you love from all spots in between. Keep up the appetite, keep those pecs pumped, and you’ll be paddling out in no time.
Boundless love from Daisy and Bobcat

Hi Nick,
We’ve been in touch with Jessie since she left us for Indiana and was hoping that we could make a visit with her when she comes into town for Memorial Day weekend. We’ll get in touch with your folks ahead of time to arrange something that works with your schedule.
Wish you were still back at the Lodge with us to give us your valuable insight on the situation here. Can’t wait to see you and wanted to let you know we think of you frequently hoping you can get outside soon. First we have to get a solid week of sun..that would be good for all.
See you soon.

nick,
it’s been a while since i’ve written and i can’t remember if i told you or now, but i got into grad school here at IU for education. really i’m doing the transition to teaching program which ends next may and will get me my teaching certificate but i’m technically in grad school as well. but i won’t complete my grad program until after i begin teaching. from all i’ve heard it’s a bad idea as a new teacher to have a masters because they have to pay you more.
so, i have been a pretty busy girl. starting 2 classes last week and am still working full time at the co-op in town. and my child, oh i mean, my dog, takes up a lot of my time as well. thanks god my roomate is so helpful with him.
other news is that i will be in newton, staying with my brother around memorial day weekend. i’m so excited to come and see you. hm, i think it’s been… god over a year and a half? i don’t think i saw you when i was in boston after graduating from bennington dec ‘03 did i? wow, crazy. i guess that’s the best part about good friendships, it just doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. can’t wait to see you, man.
hugs and love
jess

“Happy Birthday Dude” !!!!

These are the very words that you said to me last week when I came in to visit. I must say it was the best birthday presant ever !!!!
I’ll be in soon to give you a hug and some gifts.
Rest well and strive forward my brother.
ciao for now

jacob

Happy birthday, Nicholas!!! I hope you have a good day. Wish I could be there to say it in person. But, soon enough, I hope.
Hugs and love,
Jess

Nick,
It’s Jacob getting back from two months of traveling seeing my family and our many mutual friends in so many magical places.
I got a dream job or commission , by The Natural World Museum who are teaming up with the United Nations for an exhibit in SF in for the first week of June. It is so exciting for me to integrate my travels from the past to the recent CA and Kauai photo/video safaris into this project where I am using my printer I told you about to print 12 -4x10 foot silk banners for the entrance of this huge exhibit. I also will be taking videos and projecting many past magic moments onto a 10 foot sphere screen near main stage for this event. It’s the UN’s 60th anniversary, and I’m so honored to be a part of the World Environment day. Many Ambassadors and Governors of the world along with National Geographic and many other big wig exhibits. I’ll say hi to Arnold S. for you and Al Gore is the keynote speaker. Exciting !!!!
I called our buddy Will the other night and we were eager to see you with the sensitivity of proper timing and we coordinated and met to go up and see you. I have to say I couldn’t wait to see you after keeping up with the Sites postings of your positive reactions. I give so much thanks to your bro Colin and family for the continued support and keeping all us up on your positive progress. Well Nick , you are for sure on your way back with us. You and your sister were sweet thumb wrestling. As you were getting comfortable we talked for a while and showed you some slideshows on my computer and showed you your website. I also brought some of our old favorite toys of course. It was Amazing watching you loving Will give you a message with that old message toy. And after we demonstrated it on each other I asked you if you could give Will a message and with out a pause you grabbed it out of my hand and started messaging Will, with control I might add. Amazing !!! We looked at each other and had an awesome feeling inside of reassurance ,, I had Angel bumps and all my hair was standing on end. All of my Trust and all of everyone’s Blessings out to you over these times has truly paid off. I understand there is allot of time to put into your rehabilitation. I still Trust and have confidence in you to the Nth degree. Another toy I brought out was a wrist exerciser I introduced to you a few years ago, you loved it then and you loved it the other night. When I got the Gyro flex going at 100s of RPM and handed it to Will he picked it up right away which is remarkable as it was when we asked if you wanted to try. Again without a pause you put out your hand and with full attention and memory of its tough nature you had it and kept it going for a bit. There will plenty of time practicing with it , but I must say it is for your advanced rehab. We must be both conscious and couscous with in this time of rehab since you are in fact Re-remembering many many details and think it’s important to not rush it and let it flow back in, although ,you would probably have set up a pretty rigorous course for your self.
I sure enjoyed giving you a shoulder rub and messaging your feet. I can tell you enjoyed it and can’t wait to do it again. Also when I said I had to leave and get back to logging videos you looked up and put your hand out to give that bro shake then transition into the other fingertip shake , when you held my hand with force and intention to have one last thumb wrestling match. You won most of them of course.

Even though I’m a supper busy Bee these days prepping for this dream gig in SF, I will see you soon and will continue to send my blessing thoughts and spread the Amazing good word.
I love you bro

Dude-Man-Bro !!!!!

Ciao for now

Jacob

Nicholas-
It doesn’t surprise me one bit that all of your activity has happened around this time. It’s spring and I can see out my window pedals emerging from the dogwoods. We have random flowers popping up all over our yard. My roomate and I wonder who planted them, or if they just arrived there one day. My dog loves lying in the sun, which is odd since his coat is mostly black and I would thing he would get too warm, but he loves it. Then again I love being in the sun as much as a plant but I burn even with sunblock. Not like I need to tell you this, mister redhead.
For the moment I am inside and somewhat sick. Thinking it might be all this new life causing my allergies to act up but hoping it’s not, so it’ll go away faster.
I enjoy the updates from your family. At each description I can truly see you doing all of those things. It’s as if you are speaking to us all through them for the moment, and through your actions. I’m so glad you are.
I’ve starting cooking at the local co-op market in town. It’s so much fun and I’m learning so many good, yummy, veggie and vegan recipes (some meaty ones too). I can’t wait to let you sample some. As you can tell this note is random. That’s me I guess. I still have to get off my butt and mail you a package I’ve had kicking around in my room for a few months now. Sorry about that. I will get to that soon enough. For now I’m off to watch a movie and settle in with some throat coat tea.
Have a great day.
Hugs and love
-Jess

Nick,
So many fun times flood my mind when I think of you. Its been a while since I’ve seen you, I think playing some pretty out tunes in a dungy room might have been the last time, but like everything you do it was real and immediate…the thing I respect and admire about you.

One of the good times that comes to mind was when M’head safety officer Dave pulled us over in your driveway in that light blue diesel Rabbit you had. He started yelling at us to get back in the car and stop trying to run away. We were both laughing nearly hysterically when he started in on us about not having our seatbelts on. The seemingly obvious fact that the car was parked and we were walking into your house before he ordered us back in the car notwithstanding…that we could not stop laughing just increased his rage. Anyway, Nick, you’ve never taken the easy road but you’ve always done what you set out to do and I know you will emerge from this garden of forking paths.

Sean Sullivan

Hi all. I’m Shane, Nick and I moved out west around the same time from the north shore of Boston, I’m from Essex, and was Colin and Nick’s roomate in San Fran for a while. Please read to Nick:

Nick, It’s Shane Bediz. Sorry to be out of touch, I’ve been on the road for 2 months and I always wanted my post to be perfect. I’m sure you can relate. I miss you and love you bro. These prose are from your 4th weekly meditation on a distant island in Thailand. I’m now on Maui, on my way home. Much has happened, but this moment I share really gets to the heart of it, from mine to yours.

Wai Nam beach, Ko Pan Ngan, Thailand, 2/11/05

i rise in a daze
from my bungalow at just the right time
twenty to 9
i have fasted for 8 days on a cleanse
weary, but so clear in the spirit, and deeper mind.
dizzily I climb the ridge above the small bay and beach to a stone ledge
the sun is already hot, steaming the morning mist and jungle.
Looking out, over the tropical deep blue horizon, stretching out, endless and vast
with shivers i try to take it all in, each wave and ripple, of sea and wind and motion,
the kind you like to ride on, the elements of your dance
all is peaceful, not a sound out of nature, just wind, rustling palms, jungle creatures, and the ocean roar.
Sitting balanced in meditation, I realize all the beings around the world sending their love light to you
I set my attention southeast in your direction and aim my third eye,
out of body I fly, arching over heavens, joining in mid air with all the other light beings.
we fly together hand and hand through the air like our skydiving trip, and land in your hospital room.
we join together in a circle around you to create a luminous light around and through your body
a holy and sacred aura bathing you, and shining white beams into your forehead to heal and seal.
we cheer, dance, sing, drum, and jam.
you look brilliant and smile,
and awake laughing, and dance!
your moves are still some of the best,
with just enough edge to keep you rockin, just like you always said you needed.
I will carry this image with me everyday of my journey, especially on your weekly meditations.
my thoughts are with you always my dear friend,
but most thoughts are not for writing
you understand, and feel us, deep within, as you remember
i am on my way east and will see you soon.
soul brother love to you
Shane

It happened. Yesterday was my birthday. For some reason this time around I feel old in some way. Nothing has changed aside from the date on the calendar, and really I’m just one day older than the day before but I feel it creeping in some odd way. I don’t know. Can you fix this for me? I smile to think you just might be able to somehow.

The weather out in Indiana has been wonderful the past few days and I finally got down to the lake with my dog. That was the closest I’ve felt to the ocean. The rocky shore reminded me so much of the beach by my old house in Swampscott. The only problem was I could still see the other side of the lake. But, there is an amazing camping spot right in a cove by the water. It’s almost as if no one knows about it although there are a few fire pits. It’s open to the public and very quiet during the week and up until the busy times of year from what I’ve been told. My roomate and I are talking about going back there some night to sleep. We also have plans for a fire in our backyard. We have a nice fire pit and are in the process of collecting geodes (sp?) and other nice rocks to decorate it. I hope the sparkle in the flames but we shall see.

I’m glad to hear you are doing well. I have something to send off to you but just awaiting an address. Remember slow and steady wins the race. What race? you ask… I have no idea, but it’s probably the best one there is to win.
Missing you.
Hugs and love
Jess

hey brother
i have the photo of all of us at the waterfall that day on the desktop of my computer, and i see your grin daily and send you out positive vibes. i’ve been checking on you regularly online and things sound positive. keep pushing because that big fishshape you rode when we surfed matapalo is now officially yours and sitting patiently waiting to be ridden by you again. take your time but hurry your freckled butt up too, because we got all kinds of stuff to do.
much love out to you and any help or healing i can provide,
abrazos
b

hey nick,
welcome home!!! i’m so happy you’re home closer to more family and friends and that the journey went well.
i just got back from ft. lauderdale. after a short stint in bloomington after scotland…. i feel like you with all this travelling. visited my friend jolene, who i’m sure you met at bennington briefly. then down to miami for a night with my sister. scott, my boyfriend, and i drove down in my car with my dog. yes, my car made it all 16 hrs and back. amazing i know. but who would doubt the VW, no matter what the model, right? woody, the dog, stood up for the first 7 hrs of the trip. entertaining but i’m glad he finally settled in. it was so nice to be in warm sunny weather. i’m no ready for spring to really come. indiana is odd… if you thought new england warranted the phrase “if you don’t like the weather, wait 5 minutes and it’ll change,” you are mistaken. i think the meant it for indiana.
i’ve also started a new job at bloomingfoods, the local co-op natural food market. i’m in th kitchen now but will probably be doing as much as i can there soon enough. also, hoping to start a transition to teaching program this summer. i’m meeting with the dean next week and will keep you posted on that one.
hope you have a good day. miss you.
hugs and love
-jes

Hello Nick and family. This is Colette Coté writing from Manchester-by-the-Sea. I first met Nick during the Summer of 2000 and we’ve been friends since. I was devastated to hear the news of Nick’s accident at the beginning of this year and keep him in my thoughts. Nick you are doing great so far so please keep it up. There are so many people rooting for you right now, I never imagined you touched so many people.

I am writing today because like others that have posted, I had a dream of you last night. The two of us kissed and when we did I could here music that was in your head. You couldn’t speak but I could here the music when are lips were together. It’s just a dream but probably means that you touch people even though you can’t physically communicate just yet. The interesting part of the dream is that I just read of the news of your transfer today and you were in my dreams last night! Are you sending messages?

I’m sure everyone is anticipating your safe return to The States. This is just another journey for you. Hopefully you’ll be well enough for a visit soon. Your presence is missed.
Take Care.
Miss Colette

N… so what is it with you and early Sat morning dream time. Have you worked out a schedule to ensure you visit everyone who needs you at a set time every week? I do wonder.
This time we were in Thailand! It was so beautiful. I was hanging up a poster at a beach while people on the beach were watching this beautiful breeching whale (yea that part doesn’t fit bc he was about 200 ft off shore..but whatever). Anyway, you walked up behind me so when I turned around you were just there. You had a pale yellow shirt on with your floppy beige sun hat (which I have had with me every moment since your accident..i’ll give it back eventually). Your huge blue eyes just stared right at me and you gave me a second to process it. For the first time in our dream world dates, you acknowledged that you knew you had been away for a while but you were back now and there was nothing to worry about. Your deep stare was litereally all I needed. I think this dream was triggered by some reports that K gave me of some intense eye contact over the past week. I’m jealous, I can’t wait to see it for myself..but for now I appreciated the dream time version.
All my love,
p

Nico,

I’m sure you’ve noticed that there has been a bit of a lull in the letter writing lately. I want to assure you that you are in my thoughts constantly; every single day I think about you multiple times and envision your return to health. You’re present in my waking thoughts and, quite often, in my dreams as well. Last week there were two consecutive nights when I dreamt that my phone rang, I picked it up and, on the other end was a familiar voice saying “Hey, Will, I’m back.” I look forward to that day.

Sitting there in that bed with that tube in your throat has to be getting a bit tiresome, it’ll be great to get you back to Beanville and into rehab- Pamela has certainly been paving the way for you at Spaulding. I can’t wait to see you; I’ve got tons of stuff I want to read to you and have been thinking about putting together a “smell-kit” replete with all sorts of stinky stuff to stick under your nose. Things that come to mind are garlic (por supuesto!), ginger, basil and other nice, smelly things. Also, pine needles, various teas, fresh coffee beans. How about some seaweed? Ulva lactuca? Irish moss? Mmmm, stankariferous. Of course this kit of stank needs to be approved by the professionals, but we all know how important and powerful (both physically and emotively) the sense of smell is; I can’t imagine it being a bad idea, so prepare yourself and your olfactory bulb.

With all this snow this year Nick T and I have been getting back into Dogtown on our backcountry skis; there aren’t too many huge drops to be had, but it’s real nice to have a place to strap on the boards just outside the back door. Speaking of NT, he and Abi just had another baby! This time it’s a boy whom they’ve named Mac Trotman. Kim baked them a polenta lasagna and, for their sake, baked us one too- otherwise it may not have made it out of this house. Wait until you taste this latest creation- the layers of polenta take the place of the noodles… oh man…

Jon and I have been contemplating an abduction; we were thinking about kidnapping you and strapping you to your kiteboard for rehabilitation purposes, of course, but have decided that perhaps we’ll let the Spaulding people have their way with you for a while first. Still, be prepared, we’re expecting you back in full action in the near future and will do everything we can to facilitate your recovery.

Nico, you have made so many peoples lives so much richer and we all love you so incredibly much. I have complete confidence that, regardless of how long it takes, you will soon be filling our lives with laughter, love and light again soon.

Love,
Will

N… so I’m thinking it makes a heck of a lot more sense for me to meet you in Boston rather than Dunedin…sound good to you? Ok so we shall rendevous in Beantown bc I just cancelled my trip to NZ. My secret wish when I booked my trip to see you was that I would cancel it because you are coming home. Ah…it would appear that wishes are coming true. You continue to impress me every day and I cannot wait to see what you are capable of for myself! You are reaching every little goal I set..nice going!!! You’re coming home to me (all of us!!)…ah, the way it should be. I’ve got a LOT planned, so rest up on the way home…we have a lot of catch up to do. Enjoy the fancy-pants jet..wow…talk about impressive.
See you soon bro!
All of my love,
pooh

hey nick,
i got back to indy from skye yesterday. there is a postcard on its way to you. i refrained from buying you any minimugs at any of the airports i visited en route (5 total) since you would then have to transport them back to the states with you; however, i’m sure i can make it up to you someday and i’m sure you have a sufficient amount waiting for you either in SF or in storage or something. i’m feeling a bit of jetlag but had to check in on you and see how everything’s been going. i’m glad to hear you are feeling better from the fevers and that you are moving around so much. at some point i have to tell you all about my work at bradford woods and how it alone has helped me to understand where you are in your progresses. well, at least i will tell you a sroty of a young girl with whom i played big ball bowling. but that will be at a later date. for now i must rest. my internal clock thinks it’s 2:30 am although it’s really 9:30 where i am currently. i’m so glad to hear that soon you will also be making to transition in time zones. in your own time, no rush, but we all look forward to having you back in boston ("boston you’re my home").
hugs and love
-jess

Morning N,
So by now I know you have heard about our incredible day skiing yesterday. I’m not a huge fan of day trips, but thanks to my relentless roommate, Liz and I took a leisurely trip up to Sunapee to enjoy a fantastic day on the slopes. It was about 35 degrees (do you still remember Farenheit or have you been converted being over in NZ for so long?!), cloudless blue sky, strong sun and, get this, SNOW! I have no edges on my skis, but I didn’t need any. The conditions were great. We saw a teli guy absolutely murdering the bumps…I was quite impressed. THEN..my favorite part of the day.. lunch! We walk in to the lodge and who is there but Joanie, Gay & Bunk! What a treat to walk in and see 3 of our Olympic parents. It was so great to see them. We reminisced about Jackson Hole (Liz is headed there in a couple of weeks).
Then we made the world very small bc we gathered at the base of the mountain to call NZ and say hi to Mum, Dad Kristin & Sean. At a mountain in little snowy, wintery NH calling half way around the world to summer time in NZ..thank you technology.
I heard you got M, D, K & S involved in your PT session the other day…way to put them to work. I can’t wait until I can help too. Ok well Dad’s good report on the tilt table yesterday has helped drag me out of bed so I can head out for a long run. You are such an inspiration bro!! Keep up the hard work. Perhaps when I get home I’ll have a toast of pineapple juice in your honor
All my love and confidence,
P
PS… Annie sneezes-A LOT- is that wierd?!

Dear Nick,
Was drinking out of my Halibut Point mug last night, and it made me think of the few times we ate there together. I’m just not sure the Black Cow holds the same rustic appeal. Whatever the locale, I look forward to breaking bread with you again soon., my friend.
I am encouraged to read every day of your progress, and I can’t wait for you to be back in Boston. Needless to say, Dawes-Hamilton-and especially Baines-are anxiously awaiting your return as well.
Enquaybo,
TJ

HI N… ok just a quick little note. Dad told me as many details as he could about your adventure sitting at the edge of the bed today. He told me via IM and I demanded that he call me so I could hear all the juicy details. Yes I am a dork and an elated dork at that. You performed wonderfully and I know it was hard work. That’s just the beginning bro…you’ve a got a heck of a lot of tough work outs in your future, but you’re always up for a physical challenge, so get ready! As your sister, who knows a wee bit about physical therapy, I am just bursting with pride . You made some wonderful strides today so keep it up. I promise I’ll do my best to be more sister than physio, but if the lines get blurry sometimes it’s just out of excitement (not torture, although I’m sure you might not beleive me at times… I do have some pay back for you eventually ).
Hurry home and have fun with K.
All my love,
Pooh
PS…keep up the progress and give me a reason NOT to return to NZ.

Dear N,

I’m heading out to see you tomorrow and will be there on Saturday afternoon in time for tea with you. I did hear, however, that if you ace that CT scan tomorrow you might decide to come home pretty soon, in which case I might beat Mum and Colin in the shortest-trip-to-New Zealand contest. If you decide you are not ready, that’s fine – I can understand not wanting to rush home to New England in the middle of March. Still, I hear you are going to be flying Donald Trump style in your own special jet (please make sure you think of us regular folk sandwiched in coach with a daycare’s worth of crying babies around us) so that’s some good incentive.

So thanks to a funny habit of yours I have been able to solve an annoying little mystery in my apartment. The guy upstairs does this thing where he starts pacing - back and forth back and forth back and forth – the whole length of the apartment. This usually happens shortly after he gets home every night. Sometimes it goes on for 45 minutes and then it will abruptly stop and all is silent. The thing about the pacing is not that it is loud or intrusive because when he just walks around normally it doesn’t bother me. The pacing was annoying in that way that continuous sounds are annoying when you can’t identify or understand them – so whenever he would get into one of his pacing jags I would become completely distracted trying to figure out why someone would walk the length of his apartment and back for 45 minute stretches. Nerves? Exercise? Is he an actor rehearsing his lines out loud and pacing in that way actors rehearse their lines out loud and pace? Something about it seemed strangely familiar, though….Then in one of the many flashes of brilliance I have every day I realized that he is like you – a phone pacer. And sure enough, shortly thereafterI heard his phone ring and he started walking the walk. Phew. I have to say it was a relief to figure it out. Now that I know what it is I don’t even notice it anymore. So thank you. I also think that maybe I am a phone pacer, too, and just haven’t come to terms with it.

Anyway, I heard that they had you sitting on the edge of your bed today with your feet dangling off the side. That must have felt nice. I hope you are imagining that you are sitting at the end of the pier at the Cape letting your feet dangle in the water.

I’ll see you in a couple of days.

much love,
K

Hi Nicholas,

It is a peaceful Sunday morning here and I am up at the farm, sipping coffee, as I look out over the fields. It’s cloudless, with a warm winter sun, unbroken snow stretched over the hill (the boys haven’t gotten to it with their sleds yet), and the wind pulling away at the top layer.

Megan and I went over to Sugarbush yesterday for our first ski of the season. By the end of the day Megan was suffering from a bit of “pinhead envy” so we swithced skiis so that she could try the telemarks. Impressively, she got the hang out of it, but this was no thanks to me. I tried to recall the tips that you had taught me - something about making one single edge?- but really all I remember from learning is just following you down the hill. I do clearly rememeber, however, making my skiis in a hotel room with you the night before I learned by screwing some bindings onto a pair of your old (circa 1978) downhills - I’ve received a number of incredulous looks while skiing on that get-up since…

So I’ve been thinking about your sense of improvisation this morning; beyond my skiis, it has brought us cakes in the wilderness, stitches out of dental floss, untold miles in cars that should have long since died, entry into apartments that we have locked ourselves out of, exit from cripple-brush chest high. You bring this huge sense of possibility to all situations and I am always infected…

Nicholas, I miss you terribly. You are with me always these days and I can’t wait for you to come home.
Much love,
Honor

Hi Nick,
I wish I could tell you this personally, but a letter will have to do. I guess you know I have been thinking about you. Your progress has been great. Well done, man. It is a long road, no matter which way you take…. I have been seeing a lot of life here in Central America; you would love it here. There are such contrasts: rich and poor, beauty and violence. I have seen a lot of people with “good luck” and even more with “bad luck". Happiness is something altogether different, I guess. It all depends on how you choose to look at it.

I look forward to talking to you soon about your travels. When you get back, you are going to know more about living than most of us. And you will be counting your blessings, I know, like you always have. Take good care for now, I send you a big hug.

Peter

PS. Speaking of blessings…. Peter and Lucy, I know you read these letters to Nick. Thank you so much.

Nicholas-

It’s Honor’s friend Richie here. Have been thinking about you a bunch lately, and wanted to drop you a note to say hello and thank you.

I’ve just concluded my first snowboarding trip out west, and it brought to mind the stories of you climbing above the lower lifts at western resorts and getting lost in the backcountry of some New England ski mountain. They definitely brought a smile to my face, and I can’t help but see the analogy of the latter to your current predicament. Everyone is on pins and needles wondering when you’ll find your way out, but knowing you I feel it’s just a matter of time before you come stumbling along with yet another incredible tale.

More than anything I wanted to say thanks. Earlier this week I booked a flight to New Zealand. It will be the culmination of several year’s worth of travel adventures that have taken me around the world and truly expanded my perspective on and appreciation of life.

Anyone who knows me knows that this wanderlust is almost certainly a triumph of nurture over nature. I’ve heard through the grapevine that George once referred to me as earnest, and the fact of the matter is that I can’t dispute the description. I was born with an overactive prudence gland.

That I now find myself bound for a country on the opposite side of the globe is itself incredible. And you are both directly and indirectly responsible. Your adventurous nature has unmistakably rubbed off on Honor, and it is she that on numerous occasions has coaxed me out of my comfort zone. More directly, I have on several trips asked myself the question, “What would Nicholas do?”. While I have yet to summon the nerve to actually follow through on that course, I’m extremely grateful just to have found myself in a position to ask the question. Following 50% of your lead is more than enough excitement for one lifetime…

I hope that by the time I depart for Christchurch you will be back in Boston, but if not I will do everything I can to stop by and say hello.

Keeping on pushing through. Everyone is anxiously awaiting your return.
-Rich

Hey there, Nicky Boy!
Bobcat here. Just wanted to remind you that if you sit up in bed, you can eat fish tacos with extra guacamole, veggie lasagna, pumpkin pie, …whatever you want. You see, when I saw you in my dream, you told me you were sick of tubed mush, and you bee-lined it to the kitchen. You were going at it in there, making sandwiches, and chomping on chips and salsa. Ahhhh, solid food.
So I thought I would remind you of all the yummy food waiting for you out here…like Woodman’s Fried Clams, and Nick’s Famous Roast Beef with sauce and cheese. Oh, let’s not forget your new go-to guy for a sandwich…Heir Klein. I think your most-recent hankering was for the Cunningham, with the spicy mustard. Mmmmm, Mmmmmm! Are you aware that without your persistant patronage, Klein’s Deli faces exponentialy diminishing profits for this already-paltry fiscal season! Good God, man.
What else would you like? Oh yeah, remember that Macadamia Nut Pesto you and Kang made down in Costa Rica? There’s a whole Tupperware full, just waiting. Say the word.
Or how about some of those Trader Joe’s Chocolate Dunkers that Jake always stockpiles, or we can go to Tappa’s after Ultimate Frisbee and get the Mediterranean Stir Fry Wrap with Portabella? Maybe even a Tea Tree toothpick to finish it off nice. And then a glass of Patron with lime. Ahhhhh.
Say the word, bro. Its on me. Bon appetite!
Lion-Hearted Love,
Bobcat

HI N,
I’ve been trying to think of something to write to you, but every time I attempt to compose something coherent, well nothing really comes out. So I thought I’d just start writing and see what happened. To be honest I’ve had a tough couple of days. I went to go see Finding Neverland this weekend and, while I loved the movie, it was a real tear jerker (I wasn’t the only one shedding a tear or two). I remember you told me that you had seen it and really enjoyed it…I see why. The theme of the movie seems to fit well with Mariko’s most recent posting about the power of imagination. Anyway, since about movie time I’ve just felt sad.
I can’t quite put into words why I am upset, but it reminds me of when I was at overnight camp (Camp Evergreen) when I was like10 years old. I had been away for a month or so and it was a few days before Parents Day. Up until that point I hadn’t really missed Mum & Dad, but with about 2 days to go until seeing them I was overcome with a feeling of being homesick. I remember my camp counselor telling me that it was going to be ok and that they would be there in 2 days, but time wasn’t the problem. I simply missed them and I wanted to see them at that moment. I haven’t experienced that feeling of missing anyone until now. I miss you Mum & Dad so much. I think I’m Niki-Mum-Daddy-sick. (Hey, not a bad adaptation of Kiki-Pooh-Niki). I know I’ll see all three of you in about 2 weeks (whether I go there or you beat me home), but for some reason that is just not comforting. I know this feeling will pass soon, but I just felt like I had to vent about it a bit.

Anyway, I know you have been trying hard to battle those fevers, so I decided to follow your lead and get my sorry-self out of the house for a good run today. I REALLY did not want to go, but all I had to do was think about you and our training sched and I was the out the door. The weather was beautiful and I’m thankful I got to soak up some rays…thanks for the push bro.

I’m literally on the edge of my seat waiting for a fever-free day. You are so close to coming home Nicholas so keep up your hard work. You are a stubborn soul…keep it up and fight hard. I’m very proud of every move you make.
All my love,
P

Hey, bro!

I was getting a little jealous everyone was having these dreams about you and I hadn’t had one yet. Well, last night I finally did.

We were in some weird hotel with marble floors. You were this new you post-accident…a spiffy new you, but ENTIRELY you…just different. Anyway, I was hanging out in this room doing some research and then you walked in. You were wearing your khakis and a navy blue sweater and that knowing grin you wear around. You came right up to me and asked me if I wanted to dance.

So we started dancing and you were this phenomenal dancer! It was all ballroom stuff, and somehow you carried me with you for the entire time we were on the floor. There was no music, but that was okay because I was able to observe you all the more keenly as you spun me, dipped me, threw me.

It was a lot of fun and quite a workout! Once you’re back in Beantown and back on your feet I think we should make a night of it.

I can’t wait to see you, Nick! I can’t wait to hear your voice come back. I can’t wait to watch you emerge from your cocoon. And don’t be shy…even if you aren’t the Nicholas you were before the fall, you will sprout new wings with beautiful colors to compliment those that already exist. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY NICHOLAS.

Miss you. And let’s calm down with the fevers, eh? Keep your cool, you’ve come a LONG way and you’re almost home!

Fio

Nick,
I just found out about your accident and wanted to send along my best thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery and return home. I smiled when I read Jay Smith’s entry about the two philosophers debating on the high seas of Salem Harbor. I think i was busy flipping burgers and playing backgammon. The last time our paths crossed was on a plane back home to San Francisco from Boston for both of us (i didn’t know we both lived here). I hope you are back here soon!! Best, Carrie (sherman) Egan

Hey Nick:

Sorry to hear about your accident.

I really enjoyed catching up with you at Essex last summer. It was great to hear about your new film projects. I look forward to you getting better to hear more.

I am sure you have heard already that the east coast has gotten pounded with snow. Beverly got 32 inches and the windchill was minus ten. This cold weather reminded me of all the times sitting on the bench with you as a member of Pingree’s hockey team. Since we had too many players, we were both encouraged to support the team on the bench. Every now and then we would play. It was usually when we were creaming the other team or they were creaming us. During that time on the bench you never complained. After two years of little to no ice time, I couldn’t take it anymore and left to go to the drama department. However, you were committed and stayed. And you were rewarded with a lot of ice time senior year.

I always admired your determination and perseverance. I hope that you get better real soon. I am learning from your website that you and Eric Johnson were in a band. I look forward to jamming with you guys this summer.

Take care,

Jeb Cogger

Hey ho silky my man!
Its Daisy Darling here coming at cha live from Bali with that boisterous Bobcat at my side. We have been sending you SOOOO much love my friend. Over the tradewinds of time, you have been held in a golden space in our minds. We envision you held in the love of your parents and your whole global tribe sending healing orbs of light… light that is infused with funky fresh vibes inspiring your imagination to whirl as you allow your body to heal. It is okay to allow the healing to take its sweet time, we are patiently awaiting your return to this glorious world of music, dance, and friendships, which you so effortlessly enhance. You are a true friend Nicky Boy, our lives are greatly enriched by your creative wordplay of humor, by your generous offering of your energy, by your boundless sense of gusto for life. You are inspiring me right now as I write this. I can just see your bright blue eyes now with honesty glowing through, giving all a safe haven of friendship to rest in.
Now go ahead and put the pieces of the puzzle back together my friend. In your own time, in your own way, ride that wave on back to your body and we will dance again.
Loving you…
Daisy

We heard about your accident from our daughter Christine MacNaughton. We would like to wish you well and we will keep you in our prayers. We will continue to watch your progress. Sincerely, Bob and Reggie Hodson

Hey, Nicholas,

I fired up the van a few days back. Just needed a trickle charge, but I got impatient and decided to give it a jump instead. So hooked her up to the John Deere and poured on the power–the electric blue arc was a bonus. This operation was carefully timed to coincide with one of Mum’s Latin lessons–I needed the several hours she would be out of the house to keep her blood pressure under control.

The blood pressure was an issue because in addition to firing up the van I moved it from bay #3 in the cow shed to the slot at the back of the shed overlooking the tennis court and meadow. That necessitated moving massive amounts of snow to make a trail from the barnyard to the back of the shed. I had also timed the manuever to coincide with freshly falling snow so any accidental landscaping courtesy of the front-end loader would be covered up before the end of Latin.

Well, the van handled the new trail perfectly until it was time to back into the designated slot. The slight uphill grade was more than the bald tires could manage. You would have been more than amused to see the climbing rope threaded from the barnyard through bay #2 in the cow shed to the Aqua Van’s bumper. In addition to the van moving backward, the rear end needed to pivot about 30 degrees left to get aligned with the slot in the shed. John Deere, at the other end of the rope, pulled things straight and true. Then unhitched the climbing rope from John Deere and rethreaded through bay #4, retied to John Deere and pulled the van straight into its slot. She now has the best view of all the vehicles stashed in the barns and sheds.

I can’t wait for you to come home, pull the Dodge out, and put that brakeless wonder back on the road. The sparks are flying.

George

Dear Picklesquish,

Today was a long day! We led our first group at the senior center and it was a success! One goal of our group is to wake our group members up and keep them involved and interacting during the time we spend with them. I’m thinking that you could join our group even though you aren’t a senior citizen. You need to wake up a little, too, and get your wind back.

I wish I could be there with you. Remember about a year ago I was in the hospital and you and Kristin came to visit. Now I was in a much different kind of jam than you are in now, but I know you like to have visitors as I did. How is hospital life? Is it as exhilarating as the psych unit (smirk)?

I don’t really have too much to say. I’m reaching into my brain and trying to figure out how I’m feeling, but I can’t put it into words yet. I’m excited for you to come home. If you go to Spaulding, that will be good. I did an internship there and the care is excellent…top notch! So no worries there.

And so you met Eric! He left you a message yesterday. You missed out on the NYC trip when the rest of the family met him, but soon enough. I’m positive you’ll love him…but I still want the big brother backing, ok? Maybe you can revive your Spanish-speaking skills with him.

Well, I better eat dinner. I’ve been eating like you the past few days…camel style…loading up in one big meal. Oy!

Love you,
Mawippi

dear nick,

wow! you really do have an amazing support system (and a global one at that!), and i wanted to add well wishes from me and my family – since you and claire last came to visit we’ve added another member to it, too. young henry and sebastian now have wee montgomery to keep them company. we hope you and claire can come visit again. perhaps another noho film fest?

cory and i are following your progress through this site (a brilliant idea that is much appreciated by all of your friends and family) and through claire’s reports as well.

be strong and be well.

-lexie barnes and family, northampton, ma

Hey nick whats up? You don’t know me but I feel like I’ve known you for along time.My name is eric and I’m sooo in love with your sister Fi.She’s an incredible woman and the way she taks about you I can’t wait to meet you.Hope to see you soon,God bless.

Dear Nicholas-
Patricia and I are back in Sarasota recently returning from our awesome NZ journey. I’m sure you know this, but you have a lot going with you. That Kiwi medical care you are getting is first rate from what we can tell. Good as Gold, Mate. Your Dad & Lucy are at your side in constant, staunch, and unwavering support; funneling your way all the positive energy we all can muster. They are amazingly strong, but could use a break, though, so keep up the great progress you’ve been logging. And from a perusal of your website, you’ve got one heckuva network of loving family and friends all pulling for you with everything.

The Sarasota Film Festival was in full swing when we returned. So it was just exactly a year ago when we had lunch and beers on Main St., and you told us about making your film, about your plans, hopes, and dreams for the future. So keep on coming back, Nick, you’ve got a whole lot more living to do.

Richard Moore

Dear Nicholas, Kristin is going to send a photograph of you, but meanwhile I have a mental painting of you as you are now. It is a cross between a Chagall painting and a Frida Kahlo (did you see the film ‘Frida’ ?) . You are tanned on a white bed with white shorts on, in mint physical condition, lying straight and poised, on your back, eyes closed. The whole surrounding is white, as is appropriate for the hospital, and you are flying in the realm of healing. The bed is heeling over a bit with the motion of recovery.

Smooth sailing now, much love from Sarah

N,
So, I need an ear to vent to and I thought you would be appropriate. Now, I understand that you are working hard and getting stronger so one of these days we can get you back to the States. I thought I might add a bit of motivation…you see, I need your help. I’ve decided to take Annie for a bit (pause: let me indulge your readers….Annie is my parents cat) bc I didn’t want her to feel like she was abandoned and I knew it would make Mum & Dad feel better if she was with me. So, night one went off without a hitch. Night two (the one I am just waking from, and I use the word “waking” loosley), not so much. That little girl decided to start “chatting” outside my door at 5 am. For fear of waking roommates, I let her into my room where she continued to have a conversation. It was quite pathetic actually bc I was certainly not talking back, so she really was just talking to herself. And let me reassure it wasn’t just from the time of 5-5:05 am..this lasted pretty much until 7 am.

Ok quick question for you, and perhaps K can weigh in here, isn’t Annie mute?! Whenever we are at Mum & Dad’s she barely utters a noise, let alone a full meow. Well incase you were fearing vocal cord paralaysis (or hoping as I was in the wee hours of the morning) let me reassure you that they are fully functioining..UGH!

So as Mum & Dad read this to you, they know I’m kidding a bit and Annie will get used to life in the big city and it’s wonderful to have her. But I thought you’d appreciate this little tale and, if you need even more motivation to get strong, your sis needs a little saving from the 7 lbs meowing machine.

Happy recovery from the latest surg…be well bro!
All my love and confidence,
P

nick,
i had a kitchen memory i thought i’d share for smile’s sake. this morning i was making fried rice in y tiny kitchen and decided to use my roomate’s new garlic press. i hate garlic presses normally because of the messy clean-up but i remembered fondly trying to make squash for thanksgiving in your kitchen at 384. you must have been with your family but my mum was cooking in our apt, elizabeth was in hers and i was definitely splitting time running up and down the stairs using your kitchen. the oven was so annoying becuase it opened right into the side of the fridge. but the memory came about because of your overwhelming collection of kitchen gadgets. i can’t understand wy you had so many in that closet becuase i don’t think i ever saw you use one of them. but it was amazing how many there were. i always wante dto use one just for the sake of saying i did, but i could never find a reason. i laugh as i write this.
and then there’s garlic. i believe colin wrote about your collection of garlic previously. (side note: it’s so interesting to read things from your family. i’ve never met them but have heard so much about them all).
i was at the grocery store the other day with my roomate, with whom you will get along famously. we both use a ton of garlic and i decided i would get one of the big strands of garlic. partly because i have always wanted one and partly because we use so much of the stuff. they didn’t have it but i found out i could special order some if i would like. i’ll hold off on that for now.
i’m so glad to hear of all your progresses. keep up the good work.
hugs and love
-jess

Greetings Dear Nick,
Sloane and I send more greetings from Berkeley. Thought you’d enjoy knowing that the creative forces of the world have taken another step forward, leaving their saffron footprint smack dab in the middle of Central Park. Christo and his wife enveiled on Saturday morning, that would be yesterday, or the day before you are hearing this, 7,500 free standing metallic rectangles enveloped in saffron cloth. These have been set up as free standing inert dominoes, with the saffron fabric neatly folded in pleats, and is a 23 miles in length. They used a million yards of fabric - making me wonder, will this be donated to Hare Krishnas at the end? Better yet, maybe we should approach Christo and see if they would donate the leftover fabric to Burning Man so we could get rid of the orange construction fence and use this instead - and have a piece or two left-over to make a mumu for Larry Harvey. Sunlight streamed on these yesterday, reflecting light and color in different ways throughout the day. A transcendental highway to somewhere uncertain, yet ever changing.

This project is called The Gates. Makes me think its a bit like the Vault of Heaven, our last Burning Man theme, but for urban terrestrials. And so we mortals carry on - making art in big and small ways, thinking of you, praying for your continued recovery, and sending our very best wishes for your surgery.
Lots of love,
Your pal Nick

Hi N,
It’s 2:20 am and I’m just getting in from Molly & Zan’s party at the Reads. Yes, the party that started at 6 pm lasted until the wee hours. ..are you surprised?! The usual suspects were there (kids and parents). ..you know the drill. I decided to hang with the older kids and go for a few rounds at a local pub. I finally think I’m old enough to play with the big kids. Just as the conversations were getting good and we were all setteling in to a chill vibe, it was last call. Then, about half an hour after that, they really kicked us out. There were mutliple rounds of hugs and farewells accompanied by a similar scene in the parking lot (a shocking 50 ft away). Too bad we had to part ways because I think I could have stayed there all night. You know the scene and you know the feeling because you’ve been at these gatherings before so I needn’t describe the scene or the players. Just take a second to think back of good times at the Cape or up at the Schwendi and you’ll be right in the same place with the same feeling I have right now. Just all around good chats with some of the best people/family.

And ohhhhhhh the mind sparks!! Were you feeling them bro? Lots of funny stories about past, present and future. Some inquiries but always followed with smiles, warm hugs and well wishes. I’ll tell you though, you Mum & Dad were soarly missed. I don’t say that to make you sad, but it’s important for me to pass on, for like the 9 millionth time, how loved you and our entire family are by so many people. Being with our Olympic Family tonight felt wonderful. I miss Mum & Dad a lot (quit hogging them ) but being with this crew tonight made me feel like I was in a room full of Mum & Dad. It’s quite extraordinary how this group of people, from the original founders to the newest members, have united in your honor and to offer much needed support. Just wait until you get home bro, we’re going to have to make reservations if we want to spend time with you. I anticipate some type of waiting list, but all in due time.

So I’m sure Mum & Dad have told you, but I’m due for a visit on March 11 (but you won’t see me until the 13 thanks to that silly international dateline thing). I cannot wait to see you and hold your hand and have you show me all your new tricks. My training is going pretty well and I know you’ve had an exciting couple of weeks. ..so the competition heats up. Keep moving those hands, wiggling those toes and finding familiar positions of comfort that have your name written all over them. I continue to beam with pride so keep on with your steady ascent. I love you bro.
All my love and confidence,
P

Hey Nick,
It’s Pee Wee here. Johnny and I can’t wait to see you so get your butt back here asap!
I’m doing fine. I don’t think we’ve seen each other for a few years now. The last time was in Gloucester at the Thai restaurant. It was so nice to meet your dad and sister. They were so nice. Was your mom there too? I don’t think so. Anyways, I’m here in New Paltz, New York sending you tons of very strong Canuck energy. I love you very much and I can’t wait to see you. I’ll write again soon.
Love PeeeeeeeWeeeeee

Hi Nick
It’s apparently post office testimonial day.
I just sent off a package for you (the Harmonic Fifth chime and Trav’s new CD) and instead of the usual post office lady there was a guy sitting in for her, a retired Christian priest from town – I am not kidding! - Ken, an extremely sweet and saintly yet funny man. So we talked about him having to take postal classes to be able to cover for the post office lady taking computer classes and I said don’t go postal and he said he’s actually reinventing the concept of postal - and he really is! He wanted to see the chime so I showed it to him and told him about you and how you took a dive. Then when he finished stuffing the box with popcorn, I asked: “will you bless this package so it heals him?”. He replied “Yes I will” in a way that told me I needn’t have asked. Just hearing about you he was already intending to pray. So he asked about your name so that he can aim right and when I told him, he exclaimed “Nicholas! He has a very good name!”. So I heard all about this super mega powerful saint, the signature wonder worker of the Orthodox church you’re named after. In Russia (I should have known that, being born Russian orthodox) they honor him right after Jesus, and your Santa Claus comes from the same saint. Anyway, father Ken said St. Nicholas is the big daddy of “anyone in an impossible situation” – there’s testimonials of many believers snatched miraculously out of the icy Russian waters and left safely on shore. He also looks after infants and sailors (we always eat fish on his day in Eastern Europe).
So, I was thinking, assessing the situation here, you pretty much have all of his bases covered, don’t you Nick– a) I’ve heard wonders of your sailing technique; b) you’re warming our hearts when you wave your arms like a baby, gently awakening to who you are; and c) although we all know your waking up is not only possible but also just about to happen, some people would be tempted to call it “an impossible situation”. So yes, Nick, being named that way seems like a pretty smart move on your part right now. And Father Ken will pray for you too.
I also wanted to send you a big sunny hug and remind you that so many loving eyes are upon you, we hold you in the palm of our sweetest attention and always talk and think of you.
Heal and wake up soon because we have a world to make a better place and it won’t be as much fun without you. Okay?
love and smell of coffee (would that wake you up?)
PS: I don’t know if this is a given here in the States but where I come from saints like it if you’re named after them and bust their knuckes and wings to protect you.

Nicholas,

Just a quick up-date on hockey. Your old school Cornell is in first place with a record of 12-2-2. Your dad’s team is in third place but only three points behind. I don’t think they play one another again, so see you in the playoffs. The Bean Pot never seems to change with BU once again in the finals.The “Lord of the Boards” can’t seem to come to any kind of an agreement with the NHL players association, as always it is all about money. I think they are going to cancel the season on Monday.I don’t understand why the players union drew a line in the sand over the salary cap, what a waste of all that talent. Well Nicholas I think I have probably bored you enough, so get some rest, keep working hard, we need you back here really soon.
Be well, Jay & Myranda

Nick,

Just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that earlier this week I finally got all of your film festival submissions out. As you know, I have a very strong aversion to post offices, and this last trip was no doubt the worst postal experience that I will ever have to endure. It was no help that many of your submissions were international – customs declarations, receipt confirmations. The horror … The horror.

I no longer really know how to use pen and paper, so there I was at the counter already under heavy duress having to relearn how to write … feeling the angry glares from all sides. The postal clerk eventually realized how distressed I was by the whole ordeal and softened up after his initial lashing about how stupid I was to have predated the customs forms. Which, incidentally, really burned because it was you, Nick, who predated the forms before hopping on the plane to NZ. I think he eventually softened up because it must have been amusing to see my hands shaking trying to fill it the forms and the beads of sweat that were blurring my vision. The townfolk behind me were a different story. I don’t think they ever quite forgave me, and it didn’t help that maybe 20 minutes into the affair the clerk assisting me threw down the “next window please” placard. He may as well have just put a bullseye on my back. Fortunately I finished just as the mob behind me was beginning to get organized for the assault (the pitchforks and torches were a dead give away).

Anyway, brother, congrats on another successful surgery. Looking forward to seeing you next week.

Colin

Dear Nick,

No news. Just wanted to say I love you.

Love,
Mawippi

I was excited to hear from Pam about your steady progress. While it certainly will take time…continue to fight every day. You have always had the unique ability to look at “the big picture". The circumstances many have changed, but your focus should not.
I love the idea of a unified global meditation on your behalf. But know that I, like so many others, continue to send you our positive and healing thoughts…not just on Thursday nights, but every day of the week.
Can’t wait to see you.
Your bud,
T.J.
PS. They’re talking Clive Owen as the next Bond. Your thoughts?

Nick,

I’m sending prayers for your healing everyday. Claire has been keeping me posted since the very beginning of this journey your on. I feel her love for you alone is enough to give you the strength you need to heal. We are here in Boston feeling removed by distance but not by spirit. I’m praying for the day hopefully soon when we will be able to see you again.

In love and light,
Maia

N,

I heard you were spied looking cool as a cucumber lying eyes closed with your hands clasped across your stomach the morning of the surgery. I assumed that someone had arranged your hands like that but Dad told me you did it by yourself. This is the quintessential Nicholas sleeping pose in cars and airplanes so it really made me smile to hear that. I must say, however, that your continued grace under pressure is making the rest of us look pretty uncool…..

much love,

K.

Hello Nick - Just a quick note to let you know the New England Patriots have once again captured the Superbowl! Third time in four years and the media are calling the team a dynasty. The game was nail-biter. Spencer (my 18-year old son, remember) reported the Rolling Rally (yup, the players and all rode the Duck vehicles through Boston) yesterday was not quite as splendid as the one for the Red Sox but right up there with “cool things to do instead of school". If only the Bruins were playing - Oh well. Take care and keep making footprints in the sand. Love Ellen Partridge-Johnson

Hey Nick,
I wanted to check in and let you know that many of our Hatteras buddies have been calling, fed up with this long cold winter, looking for us to participate in some spring outings. I’m planning to head down to the Isle of Holbox on the northern tip of the Yucatan Peninsula March 10-17. Plans are to fly into Cancun, drive 2 hours north, then take a 20 minute ferry ride over to Holbox. Jovan is also making the trip as is Giacomo. Enzo is a no-go due to the fact that his wife is expecting their first child in the Spring. I’m trying to convinve David Zingg to make the trip but, as always, he insists that he has to be around here in the spring because it’s the start of his busy season in the boat business. Apparently, Holbox is a somewhat undeveloped (undiscovered by tourists) island that consists of 25 miles of sandy beaches, one small fishing village, and no paved roads. If we want to tor the island, rumor has it we can rent a golf cart to get around. The good news is the island has been discovered by kiters and there is a local shop/kite school. Great fly fishing as well, so if it’s not windy enough to kite we can always take a whack at the bonefish and the tarpon. I spoke to Nuzzo last week, what a life, this winter he’s teaching kite camps in Cozumel. He tried to persuade me to come down there for a week in February but unforetunately this work thing continues to get in the way of fun all the time.
Time for you to get up, get packed and get yourself back home for the spring kiting season. If you are not ready for the Yucatan, there’s always the Spring trip to Hatteras to get ready for. This being said, if Enzo and Monica have there newborn with them, I’m thinking we’ll rent a house next door to them. Nothing against babies, but when I’m in Hatteras at the end of a day on the water, the image of a crying infant just doesn’t fit well with the image of idyllic sunsets on the deck. I’ve got a new quiver of Best Kites (9meter,13 meter,17meter) for you to demo, not to mention a few of my old kites at the usual deep discount if you are looking to add to your quiver.
So, enough dreaming of warm weather, can you tell I’ve had enough New England weather for the time being!!
Skiing and riding have been pretty good this winter just a little too cold for my liking. I actually went out to Tuesday night hockey last night for the first time this season. After only skating twice all last season, I thought maybe I was all done with the sport, but last night Beau shamed me into getting back on the ice. Shawn Gager was minding the net, and she shut me down all night!! No surprise that after so much time off, my hands were non existent. Now I know what the saying “hands-of- stone” really means. Shawn was good enough to give me the info for this website, sorry I haven’t been in touch sooner.
I hope you are dreaming of the warm waters and winds of hatteras while perfecting jumping and just getting lit in general!! I will stay in touch and I look forward to getting back on the water with you. Lastly, just so you put it on your calender, I’ve reserved Windswept for the last week in October.
Smooth sailing, get well, see you soon, JEB

Nicholas,

While I was aware that many people know you as Nick, I prefer Nicholas. It’s such a fine name. Colin happened to be around the first time I ever heard you refer to yourself as Nick, and we developed a wfilm noir character based on that name: “It’s Nick, Nick Robbins, private eye.”

One of Tom’s favorite things about you is that fact that you will enthusiastically engage in conversation on ANY topic, and be very knowledgeable! How do you do that?

Here’s a legend that I think is true, but, since I like the story so much, I might have embellished … I don’t know anymore: Did attend classes at Cornell for a semester without registering, and then convince the school to give you credit after the fact? If so, that’s gotta be a Guiness World record.

Since I clearly have nothing specific to talk about, let me tell you about my attempt at a Guiness World record. It was in college, and one of my art class assignments was to transform a space on campus using only brown butcher block paper. My friend, Terri Freeland, and I joined forces and decided to fold the world’s largest origami crane.

After much practice, and many sizes, we ended up with a 32′ x 32′ square of brown paper (strips taped together) and trained about 20 people to help fold. That thing was huge – I think the wing span was about 20′. We hung it from the ceiling of the student union. It was so freakin’ ugly, and it blocked most of the lights, so the union became a dank, dark place with this brown bird thing hanging overhead.

To the college’s credit, they never ordered Maintenance to take it down until one of the metal wires supporting the wings ripped through the paper and speared a kid in the head.

Guiness agreed that we certainly had the largest origami crane. Then they urged us to contact the Origami Institute in Japan because of all the vagueness around what actually constitutes origami and what doesn’t. One of the issues was the fact that we’d taped several strips of paper together, and the wire was really pushing the limits.

Terri and I were satisfied just to have received a letter from the Guiness people and elected not to take up the crusade to organize the Origami Institute.

I’m sending you all my love and healing light wish you the best – you’re the best step-nephew any step-uncle could ever wish for.

John

Good job getting through the last theatre visit with flying colors. You really are strong! Love, Mum

Hi Nicholas, I am really bad with time changes. It requires way too much thinking, but I’m going to assume you have had your operation. I’m thinking of you ALL and hoping, beyond all hope, that it went well. Think of you often.
All my best, Arden

Hi Nick, Lucy and Peter,

Having just returned to Tuesday Night Hockey last week after spending several months on the injured reserved, given the level of play I can safely assure you that the Robbins boys are still in the running for the coveted Hussle Trophy.

There are a lot of new faces on the ice, some of whom even make it back to their own defensive end. However, interest in post-game conviviality at Al’s is at an all time low. Nick, not only are you good on the ice but you are a key participant in the wrap up at the cafe. You and your dad are sorely missed.

Now that I’m skating again I was going to say that I’ll score a goal for you tonight, but even better (and since I can’t shoot anyway), I’ll drop Hugh right off the bat - maybe a good, solid whack to the ankle. That ought to get him good and pissed off and set a positive tone for the evening.

We miss you all and look forward to your return,

Tom

Hey Nicholas, what’s up! I don’t know if any DeYoungs have written you yet, I don’t think so, so I thought I would say hi and wish you well (this is Sonia). The first couple weeks after your fall, I did a lot of worrying about you. But after looking at this site, honestly, there is so much hope here, and everyone is sending you so many good thoughts, I’m confident you’re going to be fine. I know I don’t know you that well, but I think of all you Robbins/MacNaughtons like cousins, so basically I consider you a cousin. I can’t wait for the next time I see you up at the farm! We’re always so psyched when we find out you’re going to be there, you have no idea. We love to sit around doing Nation puzzles, play Psychiatrist, go sledding and so on. Remember that time we went sledding at Thanksgiving a few years ago, and I think you and Sam decided that the goal was that by the time we reached the bottom of the hill, no one could be in the same sled they started out in. That was a crazy ride. As we started careening down the hill, hanging on to the other sled, you took charge saying, “Okay Cecchi, now you switch places with Sam,” and before anyone else had switched, the sled capsized. I remember flying about ten feet through the air over Sam’s head, landing face down in the snow, then sliding another three feet and looking up to see everyone else scattered all over the hill. That is probably the most intense sledding I have ever experienced. Anyway, rest up for the next time it snows in Vermont and we are all there! Seriously, sleep well, take your time, and one day it will be just like that guy someone mentioned who was in a coma for six months after the kayaking accident and woke up and said, “What the hell is all this?!” ripped all the tubes out and leaped out of bed. We’re all thinking of you!

Love,

Sonia

Smooth sailing, Nicholas. You’ve had some favorable winds these last few days, and after Wednesday you’ll be back on an even steadier course for home. We’re with you every inch of the way.

nicholas,
i did quit my job the other day and man it felt good. i also came home to a message from a place i applied to over a month ago. i will tell more if the job pans out.
i’m going to skye as well. feb 22- mar 5 with my mum. well, we’re meeting in london since she’s going from boston and i from indianapolis. i can’t wait. do you know it’s been 7 years since i’ve been there? so long i had lost my passport so i had to get a new one. i think the old one had probably expired anyway.
saturday night there was a chocolate festival in town. went with some friends and ate more chocolate in 2 hours than i think anyone really should. then from about 2 hours after that until monday morning i was in bed, feeling a bit of a tummy ache one might say. i don’t think i’ve actually had a stomache ache sinc i was a child. i am feeling better today but very sleepy.
thinking of you often.
hugs and love
-jess

Nick,

I’m excited to hear about you moving around so vigorously; I gather the reconnection process is going well. So many others have said they’ve seen you in dreams recently and I’d like to add myself to that list. Like Pamela, I will spare you all the details (sounds silly though, you always were the one who, for any given story, wanted every last detail), but will simply say that in my dream we saw each other in old-town Marblehead. We were several tens of meters away from each other and neither of us spoke, but you glanced over at me and, when we locked eyes you gave me that smile of yours. It was good to see you my friend, and I look forward to the real thing.

Yesterday Nick Trotman and I went surfing out at Lighthouse Point. We first went to Good Harbor and it was thumping in a Good Harbor kind of way. You know how that break gets when the wave is more than a few feet tall; well, it was that kind of day: complete close-outs. Nick suggested Lighthouse and we drove over there. I’ve always thought about trying to catch that wave- you know the one, it breaks over the sand bar off of Wingaersheek, and yesterday was the day. We put in at Lighthouse and paddled… and paddled… It was about 4pm but sunny and warm. Well, warm in a New England sort of way in February, perhaps it was 40 degrees Fahrenheit. We got to the break; it was small and slow w/o much of a face, but managed to have some fun out there nonetheless. Around 5pm I said “Hmmm. Sunset, ¼ mile offshore on a surfboard, North Atlantic, February… let’s head in”. We paddled against the current and made landfall as it was getting dark. It was absolutely beautiful; it has become real obvious that the sun is on its way North again- the light feels fantastic.

You too are on the way back to this realm of light and love and people and music. We all miss your amazing energy and companionship. Take your time though. Don’t rush. Fix yourself up properly. You’re making important strides daily and this thing will be incremental. You are strong and full of love. You touch the lives of everyone you meet. We all look forward to sitting around with you again, sipping a cup of tea or a shot of tequila, and speaking of all the things which must be spoken about. I love you Nick! Get well soon.

Will

Hey Nick Bill keys here. I’ve been prancing around Portland Town and making a home of it. Last night we had a procession across the Burnside Bridge. It’s was a burning man/ New Orleans Style bash of fifty people, all going off. The clowns, harlets, hobos, devils, angels, unameables, the whole bang, singing out loud “When the saints come marching in” to a full brass, marching band. And here’s the thing that makes Portland so speacial, at the half way point across the bridge there was a police escort awaiting us, they held back traffic to give us full use of the two traffic lanes heading east toward The Bossanova (the destination of this light stepping stampede of human playfulness). thus allowing the party the space to spread out and enjoy thier full expression with the full blessing of the city. behind us the lights of the city, below the soft rippling reflections of the Willamette, before us nothing but love and frolic free to ride. There was a man on stilts above the crown like and angel clown from the distant past (or distant future? hard to say) but he had a painted white face shaped like yours, blue eyes and red hair under a dusted, beaten bowler hat. I looked up at him, coming out of all that forever sky, hovering above that rolling puddle of love, and felt the magintude of how precisous a life it is.
I’ve felt that same heart busting beauty once while dancing with you on the playa the first time I met you.
i love you a ton because you are the exquiste beauty of this world.
wake up Nick
We need you.

always love
Bill Keys

Dear Nick,

I’ve been thinking a lot and I just want to say that it’s okay to take your time. You haven’t yet had the opportunity to meet Samantha, the little girl I work with who has autism. I’ve know Sam for four years now, half her life. No one knows what the hell is going on in her brain, and because people with autism have difficulty understanding and processing language, she is unable to communicate what’s going on up there. I imagine you sitting in your chair at the hospital dodging all the traffic in your head, trying to scramble back to us. Peter and Lucy sit opposite you and wonder what is going on. Well, I’ve been sitting across from Sam for four years wondering what’s going on. It’s frustrating, but I love every thread of her being. She’s in there…this little person who, recently, has copped quite an attitude. (Just as you have, from what I hear!) We’ll be sitting across the table from one another trying to tackle pronouns. She just doesn’t understand how to use the words “I", “you", and “me". Tired of trying, she begins to recite lines from movies. Lately, “Shall We Dance” has been the favorite. “Jennifer Lopez (pronounced “Jennifer Lopants") and Richard Gere star in Dreamworks Pictures “Shall We Dance!” I redirect her and she hits her face. I pull her hands down and she screams. She asks me to squeeze her and then she is calm. We try again and she perseveres. This time she gives me 3 correct responses out of 10. And the most amazing thing happens and when it does it gives me the shivers: Sam looks at me and sees my smile and says, “Fiona is happy.” She’s connected, plugged in and my heart swells, Nicholas. These moments will come for you, too. Slowly you will begin to connect and our happiness will reflect back on you. Samantha gives me faith. Sometimes I feel like she is in a coma, but she comes to the surface more and more these days as if to tease, “What’s the fuss?".

I love you, Nick. Take your time, do it right, and connect when you can.

Love always,
Fio

dear nick,
this morning i am mving slowly as is my usual routine in the mornings. i remember the conversation we had about my hitting snooze 5 million times each morning. you telling me to set my internal clock, like you had done so well, to wake up at the same time each day. i think i’m getting closer to that now that before but i must give all the credit to my dog who will now wake me between 7:30 and 8:30 if i have not yet done so becuase he needs to go out. back to the point… i might be quitting my job today. and i thought you would be proud for me. leaving the job i said i’d never go back to when i returned to bennington and not sure if i’ll land another in time for rent but i know this is the right thing to do. working for people who don’t care about people ain’t no fun! and you know me, i care too much to not let it get to me. well, i will certainly give you the news if it happens. just thought i’d share in my half awake, still need to shower but don’t know if there’s enough time, state. hope you’re feeling as fiesty as i am today
hugs and love
-jess

Dearest Nicholas,

I’ve got a few minutes before class starts, so I thought I’d write to you. This next class isn’t so bad. I am running a therapeutic group at a senior day care center and this class we’re going to discuss our first visit to the facility. The group is warm, charismatic. Some people have mental retardation, some mental illness, all have their share of physical impediments. Some of them sleep and snore loudly during group (remember the snorer at the Adirondacks that drove Piers to tears?). We did bowling with them yesterday…one man kept telling me I reminded him of Fiona from “Brigadoone". I must confess, I’ve no idea what that is or even if that is a compliment. But I love my work! I love it, I love it, I love it. It feels good to be so invested in PEOPLE…people I hardly know. If you’ve got people taking care of you who feel the way I feel about helping people, then you will do just fine, I promise. And it sounds like you’ve got the best backing you up, working on you, etc. After all, when you come home, you will have Pamela and myself to challenge both you and your therapists!!!

I was just in Andover and ran into Kristin, Mum, and Dad. We sat and talked about you as Alice and Odo romped around merrily in the snow. Odo, that heffalump, sometimes squashed Alice, but Alice is so perky she was able to wriggle right out from under him. Anyway, you’re always in our thoughts…can’t bring 2 people into a room who know you and not steer the conversation in your direction. Thinking about you all the time in our heads is tiring (like a hamster running on a wheel) so it is good to blurt out our feelings when we are together. Now don’t go feeling badly about us being tired. We are trying to absorb as much of your wear and tear as possible in hopes that it will drain you of your sleepiness. For this, our little cyber community is fortunate; there is strength in numbers.

Your blue van is looking rather lonely in the carriage shed. Mum’s purple mini resides two doors down, though, so maybe they talk and sigh at night together. Retirement’s a bitch. (At least for your van it may only be temporary…I don’t think the grape is going anywhere any time soon).

Well, class is coming up. I better get running. P.S. I can’t run because I just had artheroscopic surgery. Maybe when you are better we can compare our sick wounds! That would be sweet.

Love you- Fio

Nicky-Boy!
Silky-Smooth!
MacGuyver!
Hey there, bro. It’s us, Rob and Daisy…or Mr. Big and Double D as you so cheekily greet us. How’s it going out there in the Dreamtime? Delightful, we’re sure, but were gonna have to get you to wake up. Seriously. Check-out time was at 11 o’clock and housekeeping has already knocked twice! We don’t want to get charged for a half-day. Tell you what, just wake up, look around and tell everyone you’re O.K. Then you can go back to sleep, and hit the snooze button as many times as you want. You can have breakfast in bed, too. Real Maple Syrup!
Wake up, Nicky Boy, or else we’ll tell everybody about the time playing Scrabble in Costa Rica when you added “pub” to the already-questionable “miniqueefers” just to get a double-word-score. Mini-queefers Pub, for God’s sake! Truly an abomination.
As it is, your gubinatorial campaign is seriously in jeapordy. There are pictures of you having way too much fun at Burning Man all over the Internets (thanks Bush). Not to mention the fact that your family is quickly learning the fluffy, lovey-dovey nature of your friends, which you had heretofore kept underwraps. I mean, can you imagine the ramifications!
Actually, we are sure you can. You are probably taking great satisfaction in watching literally hundreds of people take time out of their days to get their mojos working. People, from all corners of the globe, conjuring up spells of goodwill. You’ve got dudes in business suits who would normally be trying to “close out the Anderson Deal", but instead are envisioning golden waves of healing juju condensing in a gentle cloud around your body. You’ve single-handedly transformed the most-hardened, skeptical New England curmudgeons into mantra-howling Sachems! It’s marvelous…but we’re afraid the fun has got to stop! As much as we love to see alchemy in action, we love looking into your knowing blue eyes even more. So let’s have a look, shall we? Go on, mate, open up those eyes of yours and take a look around. It’s nice here. Check out these cute nurses. Wowzaaz! Seriously, Nick. Open your eyes. Check out this Cyber-Samurai costume we made for you for Burning Man. Do you like this one better….or this one? Antlers or bullhorns?

Speaking of Burning Man, we are lost without you. Look, we know you are still catching up on sleep from the last one, and perhaps that is why you are luxuriating in your present stupor, but without your MacGuyver-esque tinkerings with our collective hardware(mechanical,electrical, spiritual), we are up the creek. For instance, if the inverter to the batteries is not bringing a charge from the solar panels, the rest of us would just wave our arms frantically in the air and shriek like the apes in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Only you, Silky-Smooth, would remain cool and colleted enough to pick up the femur bone and bash it on the control panel, then….voila!…sound-system pumping again!!! Hurray for Nick!!!!
So come on back to us, Nicky, if not for your gubinatorial campaign, or for the fate of “the Anderson Deal", then come back with our hearts…cause you have taken them with you…and we are gonna need them. Especially for when we hear the news of you waking up, cause they are gonna shine.
Super-Mega-Love to you, Nick…………………….from Bobcat and Daisy

Dear Nicholas,
While I was driving up Route 1 towards Stonington, I saw the most magnificent and powerful cloud formation. It was an enormous female angel and she had a huge majestic wing span. She was flowing towards a white dove. To the left was another formation which looked like Australia and New Zealand! If I weren’t driving I would have stopped to take a picture. This whole vision was coming from the east and headed west. When I got home, I stayed in the car and just gazed at it some more. I pray constantly to the Holy Spirit to watch over you and your family. Tell Lucy that my red amaryllis is in partial bloom and it looks like it will make it after all. Love, Jakie

hi nick it’s ole grams here i have been without my trusty computer for a few days, however i have been keeping up with your great progress, it must have something to do with my wearing my turquoise which i know carries great healing the american indians have faith in the spirits that have helped them for many years nicholas there is loads of snow here on wi ngs neck, soon it will be gone and time for spring clean up i know i will need your help when it comes to starting my big wheel mower you were of such help getting it started last summer another message later much love a bigger hugs love grams

Hi Nick - Had NO idea what happened to you, then Liz put a note on the hall bulletin board at “The Lodge.” Was stunned. Well, not as stunned as you were. Um . . . sorry. I have faith that you’ll get to read these and I figure you’ll appreciate the humor when you do. It’s so quiet around the place without your energetic sprints up and down the stairs. Seems strange. We miss you at the Lodge, although our schedules were so different that I had no idea you were actually gone until I saw them painting your apt! Felt sort of “put out” no one bothered to tell me. I’m praying very hard for a complete recovery for you, Nick. And I expect you to come back and prove me right! In fact, I’m going to send such strong, good thoughts your hair will all grow back and you’ll be 18 again. Just one suggestion - next time, wear a life line, OK? Better still, get a very, very long periscope with a strong lens on the end.

God bless, and my prayers and good, positive thoughts go out to your parents, too, and all your wonderful friends.

Laurie (a.k.a. “The Two-Bit Diva")

Hi Nicholas,

It’s Danielle, Honor’s friend and fellow redhead. Though we don’t run into each other often, I’ve been following your adventures and accomplishments for awhile. I’m always asking Honor - what is Nicholas up to now? I imagine what it must be like to be you when I hear that you’ve made a movie, (one I’m eager to see), or I make horrible music with the instruments you and your friends sometimes leave behind in Nahant.

There’s one specific memory, though, that always makes me laugh, and that’s when we all went out to the Good Life in Cambridge with a bunch of people including The Amazing Uncles. I think we were celebrating Honor’s birthday, and I apologize for not remembering whether or not it was, but we were all drinking ridiculous amounts of martinis and so I’ll blame it on that. What I do remember was that everyone was just so happy and excited to be around one another. I remember talking to you and being so taken by your energy. You really have a warmth and a genuine love of life that really grabs people. Anyway, after we left the bar we were all as goofy as ten year olds. We went to 7-11 and bought strange food and I threw a pink coconut snowball at Honor, who retaliated by wiping a frosting like substance off of the ground and smearing it on my face. We laughed crazily most of that night. And here’s the part that I really hold on to: later that night we ended up at Rich Enos’s apartment and you and I found some rollerblades. Fearless drunken redheads that we were, we put them on, squealing and cackling as we flew around the street in the night. I think you may even have given me a piggy back ride. It was just one of those moments of rare freedom, and exhilaration, and childhood ignorance of time and consequence. And I think that that is what I find so great about you, that you probably seek out moments like that each day, and with such wonderful people. I know that you are most likely zooming around on rollerblades in your mind at this very moment, and, as always, are looking for ways to push yourself, finding new adventures back to the many people that miss you.

love,

Danielle

I can’t remember the exact Christmas, but it was back in 1999 or 2000, that you gave me a weird looking thing for x-mas present. Just the typical Nicholas type-of-practical-thing. A long aluminum shaft, which can be pulled out to a prolonged tool, maybe 20 inches long, with an adjustable mirror on the end. A very geeky looking thing one could say.

You were very proud of giving me this Nicholas-named tool. I can’t remember the exakt name that you gave it, but it was like, self-extracting-finder-tool.

Frankly, at the time I wasn’t sure I would ever have the need to use it and simply put it in my tool box when I got back to Sweden after x-mas. However that is far from the truth. I’ve used it freaquently to find the odd thing that falls in behind the couch or other stupid little places. And oddly, I’ve used very frequently the last couple of weeks when I’ve been trying to adjust stuff at the back of my computer, which is in a cabinet in my kitchen (don’t ask me why it’s there) .

Without this gift I received from you, it would have been a nightmare to try to find things, which I seem to loosing all the time. And everytime I’m using it, I’m thinking about you and how stupid I was not to realize back then that which you already knew, the usefulness of a self-extracting-finder-tool. And these days, when I’m using the self-extracting-finder-tool I’m sending you an extra little prayer and meditation, focusing on your recovery.

Go and recover now Nick, and know that I’m sending meditation and energy every day to you, and all the rest of the family. Hope to hear from you soon,
Richard

Nick, its been so interesting getting to know you…we’ve only shared a few words settling details of an apartment sublet and discussing the routing of mail, yet I’ve spent months snuggled in your bed reading the books on your shelves revelling in the journeys they took me on. Our lives crossed at a time when I needed a place to rest while I explored new windows in my soul.

And now, I hear that you are hurt and I feel the love that pours out of the people whose lives you’ve touched and see photos of a life unknown to me. Once again you inspire me at a time of transition, when I heard of your accident I began to wonder. Does he ever think of the risks of his adventures or does he feel the fear “and do it anyway". I know in my heart that you are among a tribe of adventurers who still roam this planet. A tribe who breathe in air and let it spark the love of living in your soul.

I await the roar of your arrival and the tales of your adventures.

N,
This story is totally inspired by Fiona’s latest posting (Thanks Fiona). The setting is also a party. It was Oct 16 2004 and game 3 of the Sox/Yankees series. In honor of our boys making the play-offs (and my birthday), my roommates and I decided to throw an impromptu party. It was an awesome idea and within about 3 hours our apartment was filled with friends from all over. The beer was flowing and the food was…ok, well we don’t cook…so the packages of peanuts were open. All eyes fixed on our TV to watch our beloved BoSox and the scene was set.

One bad thing after another and well…the game was not going as planned. About halfway through the game and after tipping our drinks in honor of my b-day and, more likely, to drown our sorrows…a strange guy arrived at the party. I was in the bathroom and when I came out Krissy come over to tell me that Nicky-Ny-Ny (that started years ago) was here. I almost didn’t beleive her. I don’t think I knew you were on the east coast and definitly hadn’t seen you since Burning Man. Just then you walked into the kitchen and I lit up. You were wearing your VERY rad blue leather jacket with the stripes across the chest and were sporting a funkadelic beard thanks to your days in the desert. I was so touched that you stopped by for the big event. It’s no lie that I’m the sports fanatic out of you, K & I - so I knew it wasn’t the game you were there for. Rather, you had heard there was a gathering of quality people and you just HAD to be there…it’s your style. I tried to insult you by giving you gin and tonic with flat tonic and mildly melted ice. But then I remember a special stash that Dad had given me…a little digging and out came the Kettle One. Ahhh…that’s better. Being such a good big bro, you didn’t even flinch at the first attempt at an absolutely horrible cocktail. I walked you around and introduced you to everyone…you were famous that night.

Anyway, you chatted with many of my good friends that night. Some you had known, some were new to you. You even ordered pizza with us late night (and even had a very convincing/scientific way for eating late-night food and getting some of us to each much more than we wanted). That night Dave (the biggest Sox fan I know) was VERY upset about the 19-9 loss and how nothing had gone right that night…after a long pathetic sigh he then said, “the ONLY good thing about tonight is Nick Robbins.” I smiled and I have thought about that comment a million times since that night in October. Speaking as a big Red Sox fan, your presence at the party and the vibe that you brought literally erased that horrible loss we all endured. It’s a rare human who can take a room full of about 40 die-hard Red Sox fans and give them something smile about after a devestating loss.

So to quote Fiona…Nicholas we can’t describe you to other people, but to those people who know you or those who have recently met you, we know how intense and inspirational your presense can be.

Thank you for adding so much to all our lives…you’ve been doing it for years so keep it up bro. You’re adding something every day with the progress that you make. I’m proud of you!
All my love and confidence,
P

Nick, Nicholas, and all other names,
My first note to you via webpage. I am glad I have the honor. I have so much to write but for now I will remind you of the lengthy novel I wrote last night in my notebook before falling asleep. I know you are aware of all I put on paper. Another reminder, you have a journal of mine somewhere. I have no idea what’s inside because you wouldn’t tell me when you found it, but I have a feeling some of those musings would make you laugh as well. I feel odd, this letter, knowing that others will read it as well, feeling I should somehow put it in a language they can understand, knowing it’s really for you and that you will understand. I wish you well and feel that you are. More soon when I compose my thoughts a bit better. Had to get something out soon… It’s a long way from Indiana to NZ and I wished to get you a verbal message sooner rather than later.
Hugs and love (as per usual),
Jess

Nick - I am a friend of Lucy and Peter and have not had the pleasure of meeting you. Back home, we are encouraged by your progress. Keep it up and when you get back to the States, maybe we will have a chance to meet. I understand New Zealand is a fantastic country. We hope to travel there sometime in the near future.

You are fortunate to have Peter and Lucy there with you. They are incredibly strong and supportive parents. Why don’t you surprise them soon, wake up and say hi? That would be a great way to start off the New Year. Take care. Denny Hall

Big Nick,
You are into tequila and garlic! You’ll have to share some recipes with Travis when you come out of the Fifth Element organic repair light tub (that’s how I just imagined you, except you don’t look much like Milla Jovovich).
I on the other hand can’t wait to see your movies – especially the one you will make about what it was to be out there. I bet your adventures hitchhiking on the omniplasmic highway are so deep and mind blowing and heavy, bro! that if you give us (the ones down here) any part in this movie at all it’ll be the comic relief part – the way we were fretting and bumming over you and shedding a tear once in a while, pretending it’s the wasabi. A lot of sushi we had to gulp down these days just to look cool and not show how much we miss you (but that doesn’t compare to live frogs, I bet.)
Well, I guess now’s the time to tell you we don’t like OPEN your site in our house, our computer is constantly on so we have your angel mug on the screen ALL THE TIME. I greet and fare well to Travis with news of you, and the other night when your Glasgow scale had gone up to 8, I ran upstairs at 5 a.m. and jumped on the bed to announce it. Sorry I woke him, but he wasn’t crinky at all, he said this was the best dream he could possibly have! He’s often playing music to you in his head.
Talking of music, please ask your parents for a mailing address because there’s this amazing healing instrument I have that might do you good. I’ll try to explain it. Long ago, before the piano was invented, the way the intervals between notes worked was a tiny - but very important - bit different. Each tone in an octave was mechanically derived by shortening the string that rings out the base note, the Doh. The string was shortened according to a very precise ratio which Pythagoras set up a whole secret school in order to study, claiming it was given to people as a gift from Apollo (back to the good old healing Sun again). It was the same ratio that Michelangelo used to create his Golden Mean drawings (you know, the naked guy with his arms and legs spread), the same ratio that encodes all the fractal spirals in nature, like sunflowers, sea shells, pinecones, cauliflower and even Italian broccoli (being the chef your brother claims you are, I though you’d appreciate that). These were the times when music was a well-known cure for everything. Rewind back a little further, and these were the times of Greek mythology when sound was used to move objects, freeze stones in mid air, tame animals and bring back the dead.
Dude, we’re talking serious powers here.
Think the effects from the Matrix. Think: Nick, you’re the One.
So there’s this company in Boulder, Now and Zen, which makes a tuning-fork sort of chime that is based on the original “natural scale”. It rings the magic Perfect Fifth and you literally hear the spiral go woof-woof. Many wise folks have spent their lives studying the difference in health and emotional intelligence that this tiny move in the intervals produces. It’s amazing. It totally tickles your brain. With it we’ll be able to rewind time for you, to the age when music was like a miracle bath in the healing waters of Lourdes.
So, Big Nick, ask your folks there to give me a snail-mail address and I’ll send them this Magic Lyre (it’s even shaped like an angel’s harp) to ring when they pray with you. And hey, I want to have reason to wake people up at 5 a.m. some time again, okay?
Take care and start doing crossword puzzles soon

Love and tickles

Dear Nick,
I’ve passed on this magnificent website to your former fellow “Lodgers". It look like your making great progress and we are thankful that your family is there to support you on this journey of sorts. We think of you every day especially during these BIG snowstorms. I still remember a couple of Januarys ago when I came outside to see you loading your blue van with your windsurfer! This weather wouldn’t keep you down a bit. I’ve been reading a magnificent book about people’s passions and in the beginning is a quote that made me think of you.
“To be happy you must have taken the measure of your powers, tasted the fruits of your passion, and learned your place in the world". After living together in the same house for 5 years, I saw you live this and never got the chance to tell you how much I envied your spirit and drive. Please get better. We miss you. Elizabeth and David

Dear N,

I have had vivid dreams of you the past two nights and I just wanted to thank you for stopping in. You looked great and we had a few laughs (one at Pamela’s expense I am afraid). I know you have a lot of other people to visit but please drop by again soon – I estimate that I’m in REM between 5-6 a.m. EST.

love,
K

Hi Nick, it’s your brother Colin checking from Hostel 540 in San Francisco. I figured you’d appreciate an update. Not even sure where to start there is so much to report. First some positive things:

1. Your subletter, Volker, has not stolen all of our stuff, burned the place down or otherwise vandalized it. So far it has been a pleasure living with him (but don’t you worry I’m watching him like a hawk).
2. Your car has not been broken into. We all know what an impenetrable fortress that our garage is not.
3. Not sure if this is good or bad but you are still receiving a small country’s worth of mail each day. I’m doing my best to stay on top of it.
4. We had a little get together in your honor last friday. It was a nice intimate mix of burning man crew, my crew, and even a couple of people that haven’t met you yet. Rest assured we didn’t get through the night without a good soak in the hottub. I’ve also replenished the stock of tequila - Patron of course. I forced a shot of the stuff down, but I’m still not sure that I’m going to become a fan of the stuff without some coaching/coaxing from you.

A couple of casualties:

1. The plants have taken a little bit of a nose dive. Not really surprising, but I finally gave up on that joke of an orchid that I drowned last year.
2. The network is still a disaster. I’m sure you’re glad not to be dealing with that at present. And the kiosk computer is still on the brink of meltdown.
3. The porch railing. I think they are finally going to fix that dry rot. I list this as bad news because I’ve really enjoyed all ot the fun we’ve had planning how to survive the fall if it were to give way. Maybe it’s for the best, I feel a little less optimistic about the “jump for the palm tree” stategy anyway.

Some culinary reflections that have occured to me of late:

1. Garlic. What is your week’s supply of the stuff for you has now turned into a lifetime supply for me. I may try to hire a moving van to truck some of it out. I remember the first time we cooked some spaghetti sauce together. I was thrilled that you gave your stamp of approval to the garlic press. Apparently something to do with the yield - and skin recovery mechanism. Lord knows we can’t afford to waste so much as a gram of the stuff when we have only 100 cloves left. I digress – I’m not sure what sort of prestidigitation you employed, but before I knew it you has snuck 5+ tears into the sauce. Mmm, mmm good – vampire’s delight.
2. Olive Oil: You are the master. For anyone else reading this you’ll need to purchase a device called a Misto. It is a pump action olive oil sprayer. It was one of the first purchases you made after moving in. You looked at me like I was freak for not having one already. I am now a complete convert, used it this morning in fact.
3. Cookware: The second purchase you made was a rubber spatula. I realize now that the metal one was almost criminal. I am now not able to stir any pot using anything metal thanks to you. It is like fingernails on the chalkboard, an insult to the gods to risk damaging a good teflon coating with a fork. You saw me do this and the look on your face was like I had stuck the fork in your eye.

Anyways, big brother, hope that this letter hasn’t been completely draining. I contemplated rambling on a bit longer, but I think I leave it for a future installment. How I wish you could take a little time-out on the coma. I can’t imagine anyone I would like to talk to more about your recovery. It is exactly the type of conversation that I have the best time having with you. Also, you owe me a little bit more roomate time, it is amazing how effectively we have been able to coordinate not being in the apartment at the same time. I will see you soon, brother, until then I trust you are working things out. I have never known you to be early at anything (especially movies) so take your time,

All of my love,
Colin

Dear Nicholas,
You are here every minute, and hope I’ll be with you in person soon. How strong you are, and how steady to be making such progress! I’m sending you enough love to bear you up to waking, when you’re ready. And for now here’s a hug big enough to reach halfway around the world.
Love, Mum

Dear Nick,

It’s Saturday evening and I’m sitting in my little apartment crying for you. Part of the tears are from sadness, part of them from hopefulness, and others I can’t figure where they are coming from or what they are for. I keep thinking about the time you took me out for a spin in the Triumph. We had just moved to Reservation Road, so I must have been 7 or so. I remember coming around a sandy corner on two wheels, my little body flying across the seat of the car. Then there was the time we got stuck in the mud in the graveyard. Never a dull moment with you. I remember how horrified I was when I saw the old green Ford pick-up humming up the drive at Pike School. You picked me up from lacrosse practice in that thing and I ran to the other end of the lot to avoid being seen climbing into it! We were lucky to make it home because the truck kept seizing up. Then I remember you coming home and having all your hockey equipment with you and I wanted to play hockey so badly. Same goes for your motorcycle days: I still want to ride because I thought you were so damn cool. I still want to do some vocals with your band. Do you remember? We talked about doing a rendition of Sublime’s “Summertime". Soon enough. Well, writing has dried my tears. I’m glad you have been transferred to sitting for part of the day. That’s good. I love you and I’ll write again soon.
Love,
Fiona

A cold January Tuesday night of four on four sticks in the middle reminds us that we’re missing some players. The goalers seem acutely aware of the numbers also. The games are played,box on box , forays into the center spaces,inevitable success and some saves along the way. Among the missing are one of our smooth skating senior statesmen and his kinetic younger self.
They compete now in the most intense game of their lives. Hopes are that the end will be as the simple sound of the siren and Zamboni,pucks placed in a bag , thoughts of refreshment and wonders of cold or hot showers. Nick,"Our line start?” for we’re all on the same team now,all white or all blue. Nick ,you may not know it ,but you are our son also. We were in the tree with you and we are standing by you now. TNHG.

Dear N,

Just got off the phone with Dad and L ucy and they told me that you are quite tired today due to all your activity yesterday (sitting up all day, etc.). I’m tired, too, though I haven’t done anything nearly as impressive as you did. So I am off to bed and just wanted to say goodnight, sleep tight and don’t let the you-know-what bite…..I’m also including a poem by May Sarton. It’s about falling asleep and waking up and the wonderful places we get to go in between the two. It is nice to read before bed.

For Polly, Whose Eyes are Tired

Shut your eyes then
And let us slip
Out of the city rain
Into a special ship,
Call her The Pilgrim,
Set sail and go
Over the world’s rim
To where Rousseau
Discovered a jungle
Of indigo trees,
A marvelous tangle:
Precise oranges,
Tigers with dreaming eyes,
Large and larger flowers,
Leaves of gigantic size—
Wander for hours
Under crimson sun
In a pale milky sky
With a vermilion
Lizard near by,
And over it all
The strangeness that hovers
Like a green pall,
Envelopes and covers
In a warm still suspense
All of the landscape
Like a sixth sense—
Till there is no escape,
Till in the grasses
(Two people Rousseau
Saw through his glasses
And wanted to know)
You who have shut your eyes
And I who brought you here
Are to our great surprise
Part of the atmosphere,
Part of the painter’s dream,
Of his most intent seeing
In a place where things seem
Instead of being,
No longer living, not longer mortal,
Fabulous ladies,
Unreal, immortal—
Shut then your open eyes
Let us go softly home,
Back to the sleeping ship
Over the emerald foam,
Over the edge and slip
Out of the Rousseau world
Into the world of men,
Sails all bound up and furled:
Open your eyes again.

love,
K

Dear Nick,
It is so gratifying to hear that progress is being made. We are all with you and praying for you every day. While they say that it is such adversity that can build character you already are well served with character and I can think or easier ways to build on what you already have.

We are missing you and your dad at the Tuesday Night Hockey Group. Our play has been lackluster and the life at Al’s is not the same. Your progress sounds good and we are hoping that you will be able to return to the States soon. In the meantime keep up the good work and remember that we are all working with you.
Bless you and God speed your recovery,
Sam Cabot and Deamie Helmboldt

Dear Nicholas….Sounds like yesterday was a good day for you. That is great news. A bath and shave must feel great. Reading Judy Stavis’s letter about how you touch even little kids reminded me of something from 2 summers ago. Ned (who has a friend named Nicholas whom he calls Nick-Nick)was 3 at the time. You had ben around during the day, wind surfing, I’m sure, and just hanging around with Drew,Timmy and Zan and then you stayed for supper . Later that night Ned woke up (new big bed, semi strange place) and was very worried about where everyone was. Heather re-assured him that everyone was fine, everyone was asleep. “Edie’s asleep….Daddy’s asleep….they’re fine. Birdy’s asleep…Grandy’s asleep…it’s time to go to sleep. Drew’s in his room…Timmy’s in his room…Zan is home at his house…they’re all fine…they’re all asleep. Go to sleep.” He seemed to buy that and as he was settling back down he suddenly sat bolt upright, his eyes flew open and he said “Where’s BIG Nick-Nick?” You have made an impression on everyone that has ever met you, young or old, and I know when you wake up you will continue to do the same. Take care and heal well…..with love….Joanie

Nick,

I’ve been reading everyone’s notes to you, and am overwhelmed by the depth and power of the love you’ve inspired. What a life you’re leading! I’ve always known that you’re a one-of-a-kind, and I’ve always felt lucky to know you. If it wasn’t for you, I would probably never have known that garbage disposals were illegal in New York City (I think that law has since been banished.)

You were at NYU working on a student film and needed to record a garbage disposal. Since I had a tenuous connection with filmmaking, you called me to see if I could help you out. After calling a few of my friends who lived in apartments that might have a garbage disposal (in many ways, New York is a third world country), we ended up having to go to Teresa and Mike Carroll’s house in Connecticut to record her garbage disposal. Mike got so into the project that I remember him driving his Porche around and around their little circle court, squealing the tires, slamming on the brakes, and accelerating so you could collect those sounds.

I never saw (or heard) the film you were working on, but I’m sure it was not dull. I’m still provoked by “Anathema.” You said the idea was to delve into uncomfortable areas. Well, you did that for me. Every now and then, I put the film into the DVD player and have another look. It’s such a well thought out piece, and you handled the actors beautifully. I know how difficult it is to pull out a genuine performance with inexperienced actors. They really have the ring of truth in their scenes.

I still haven’t figured out what to make of the story, but it’s a well done, well written piece that you should be very proud of.

Well, I’m at work, and I don’t want the nuns to get mad at me, so I’d better sign off for now.

I think of you constantly, and am so encouraged when I read about your progress. Keep up the good work kid, I’m looking forward to seeing you in the not-to-distant future.

All my love,

John Mac

Today the temperature is 8 below zero here, but a bright red flower has opened on your hibiscus tree. I think it is recognizing your waking up. I’m thinking of nothing but you, and I hope that in not too many days I’ll see you and you’ll see me. Sleep well for the moment, dear Nicholas. Love, Mum

Nicholas,
It is so exciting to hear about you taking in the warms rays of the sun and climbing up that Glascow scale. Although this may be your most challenging ascent to date, you have a world wide nation of believers sending you their encouragement, love, energy, prayers and healing light. This evening at 9 PM here in Boston, Jay and I will be a part of the Nicholas Nation event, all believers coming together as one, sending you all of our good energy, helping you to heal.
I think of you every day, over and over. I have your website open while I work and eagerly read each new posting, continued to be awed by the power of love that you inspire from all corners of the earth. What struck me today so clearly was that I am supposed to be helping you but it is quite the opposite. You are across the world and as you gently rest and heal, you are helping me to be a better person. There have been so many times recently when I have surprised myself by asking, “What would Nicholas do?” The resolution that I reach after asking that question is always far superior to the first route I would have taken. Thank you Nicholas.
Our boys, Seamus (25) and Ethan (16) also visit your site and the first question they ask when they call is, “How’s Nick doing?”
Today Seamus and I had a very long philosophical discussion about life, adventures, goals, love, energy, friendship……pretty much the entire gamut….. as a result of the outpouring of love and affection that has cascaded forth to you. It was a wonderful conversation for a mother and son to have (at least from the mother’s vantage point) and I have you to thank for that.
Ethan wants to be sure that you know he will be attending a String Cheese festival in March in Florida and he will be thinking about you, especially then.
As the Angel Rays pour in on you, warming you with their healing energy, know that you and your family are foremost in our thoughts and prayers. You had better wake up pretty soon because, when you do, there are legions of people who are going to be stampeding to your side to throw you up onto their shoulders and run around the world with you, celebrating your return. What a party that will be!!!! Jay and I will be there……holding on as best we can because I know it is really going to be something.
With much love,
Myranda and Jay

Hello Nick!

Greetings from dark and cold Sweden, Stockholm. I’m excited to hear that you are progressing and that there are very positive signs of your healing. My thoughts and meditation are with you everyday.

And hey, you better not stay in New Zealand too long or else I’ll beat you to the laser this summer. I haven’t forgotten the last time you beat me around the island, quite severely I must admit.

See you soon,

your friend Richard

Nico,

It has been so very nice to hear of your slow and steady progress. We have all been watching the website, exchanging emails and phone calls, awaiting your arrival back here in the realm of sticks and stones. The good news is that you are making progress and that we all think of you and your wonderful energy constantly. We also understand that it’s necessary for you to be under for a while during your restorative processes, so, take your time.

Just yesterday Kim was telling me about a kayaker she read about who flipped and was pinned under the water for six or seven minutes. By the time he was extracted he had been without oxygen for too long and was in a coma. He was out for a while, six months in fact, but then, suddenly, one day while his daughter was talking to him he simply woke up. His reaction to his situation, all the intravenous tubes etc., was “Ahh! What the hell is all this, get me out of here!” He pulled out the tubes and all, jumped out of bed and…. promptly fell to the floor. His legs had grown weak from being in bed, but otherwise he was fine, amazing everyone. I have great optimism that you too will simply awaken one day. It might not be this week, it might not be next week, but we all are sure looking forward to the day when you wake up, look around and say “Let’s get on with the show!”

We all are sending you energy, light and love every Thursday night (EST). We all love and miss you and are, at the same time, confident and awaiting your return.

Thinking of you constantly,

Will

Hi Nicholas
Just remembered an amusing moment at the Cape which I thought I should share. At one of our family reunions in August several years ago, you were making yourself some kind of very healthy, organic meal with beans and humus and tofu and a bunch of other stuff. Looked pretty disgusting and you mentioned that it wasn’t all that tasty but good for the body. And then with that devilish grin, you poured yourself a huge glass of Scotch and said something about “balance". YOU BETCHA!!!!
So keep moving closer to us. I think a huge party is in order somewhere to celebrate your return and be assured that I’ll go ANYWHERE!
Sheila

There once was a little boy, Nicholas, with flaming red hair,
Who had a big red dog, named Rufus, for whon he did care.
Daily adventures were on the docket, and as they bonded, they came to share,
Soon all the people were in awe and began to stare.

Rufus was infamous as the “man about town",
Leading the pack at full moon to many a frown.

But he always returned faithfully to his Robbins’ nest,
To guard and watch over the one he loved best!

Nicholas……….Rufus is still with you and will guide you safely back home. Love, Jakie

Nick,
You know how when there’s a big show about to begin and the peeps are gathering, all sparkly and dressed up, you know these hippie kids that hang out in front of the venue waiting to bum a ticket? When I first saw them holding a finger pointed towards the sky, I thought they looked like someone’s just asked them where they’re from and they are so alien, they can’t even speak. So they just point. I’m not from here so I didn’t know the caption was “WHO HAS MY MIRACLE?”
So Nick, imagine us all hanging out in front of the hospital, holding a finger up. You have our miracle, Nick. You gotta let us in to see the fabulous show of the rest of your life.
This will be Da Miracle, dude.
You gotta make it happen.

Nick,
as I am sure your family talks with you everyday I’m sure you’ve heard that new england has been blasted with snow. last night as pete & I were trying our best to help our neighbor free her cars spinning wheels from the ice & snow, it seemed out of nowhere appeared someone we both know & love.. andrew partridge along with his lovely lady, courtney. well, needless to say, drew was just the extra set of hands we needed to get the car moving. atfter we stood in the cold catching up for a moment he told us of your accident. he also mentioned this website, in which we promptly logged onto to find out your progress. Nick, I know that we (you, pete & myself) never really took the opportunity to sit & truly get to know each other. truthfully, maybe we are very different, but after reading some of the emails from your good friends & family, I do regret not sharing a bottle of wine & some stories of your adventures (yours & mine.. although I think yours would blow mine out of the water). I just wanted to say that there is nothing more healing than love of family and friends & the power of positive energy .. we are sending you all of our good thoughts for a full recovery. Peter, Lucy, Pamela & Kristen, your all in our thoughts & prayers as well.
Love from the cape,
Pete, Cindy & Eloise Mills

P.S. next time your at briar hill give us a call…. we’ll bring the wine ;~)

Nick - It seems so strange to be reaching out to you after so much time has passed since I last saw you. Sully called me over the weekend and told me about your accident. Life seems so frenetic, it doesn’t really allow people to stop and spend too much time with the past… but between Sully’s call and the blizzard, I spent the past few days thinking about you. I just wanted you to know that I am so very sorry that you are hurt. Your parents write so beautifully about this peaceful and sun-drenched place you occupy right now - it sounds like an environment full of love, just made for healing. My thoughts, energy, prayers are with you.
Be well soon. Yours, Heather Moore

ps- something perfect just happened. I finished writing this (at work) and another teacher came to my door (I still teach at the middle school in Salem). My door is covered with postcards and images from around the world. As she spoke, she was admiring a postcard (it’s a tree frog), and I just remembered… five, maybe six years ago, when I was setting up my classroom, you gave me a great stash of postcards you had collected on various journeys abroad. Such images have become my hallmark - Collages everywhere! Kids stop and look, ask questions, freak out, laugh, think, imagine - all those things that they should do…
So, she was looking at your postcard and so do hundreds of others every day, thanks for contributing!

Nicholas, it is snowing here very far away from you. I haven’t been able to write you since we’ve been back, but I am with you every second. You too are only temporarily snowbound, and the kind of snow that is covering you is a very light blanket that will melt away. Until then, your work, though I think the job is not easy, is to rest. I want to be with you by your bed, but for today I am wishing you the sweetest and gentlest of dreams. Love, Mum

Nicholas, Peter, and Lucy,

The snow here on the Cape is absolutely amazing! We have had quite a blizzard and are expecting another several inches during the day tomorrow.

Nicholas, the “shop” in Cataumet has over five feet of snow against the doors. You would be as blown away as I am by the sight of it. The strong Northerly winds of Sunday’s storm scoured the far end of the property and dumped every flake into the lee of my end of the building. David Svarzcopf and I are going to get after it with the Bobcat tomorrow.

Today was quite awesome as well. The sun arrived with an orange glow against the chill of a definite winter day. As I left the island for work I drove along Chapoquoit beach with Buzzards Bay to my right. The shallow waters along the beach looked like a coconut slurpy with sweet little swells rolling in and peeling off as they reached the sandbar. The wave action was almost delayed by the viscosity of the freezing water. I pondered whether Dan had surfed yesterday, as there was a good swell in New Hampshire and he had said he was going. I know damn well that you would have been with him if you were in the Northeast.

Kristin and I have talked a few times this week and hope to get together at Schwendi this coming weekend. I certainly wish you were going to make it this year. You will be missed but surely present in the thoughts of your crew here in New England. We will take a few runs for you and likely tip “a pint or five” in your honor as well. Hopefully there will be some snow in Vermont as most of the storm systems have been more Southern so far this winter.

I check the website whenever I am near the computer. Please continue to amaze us with your small steps. Many peaks are summited by taking a slow and steady course, with many small steps. You have so many friends and family on your “ascent team", please take your time, be strong, and keep climbing.

With much love and confidence,

Andrew

apartridge@greennet.net

Hi N,

I am writing to you from the gym (pretty snazzy, huh?). I just completed my first of MANY training runs. Too much snow to tackle the great outdoors. As a physical therapist (or future one for the record), one of the first things we learn is to set goals according to what the patient wants, not what the therapist wants. Well bro, as we are existing together on altered planes of consciousness, I’ve taken the liberty of setting a few goals for you from time to time. I know you have your own goals that you are working on, however big or small, but, if it’s ok, I’d like to share the responsibility. Anyway, you reached one of mine today (I only set it last night..you work fast!) and for that I am grateful!

So as I think of you every day and the energy and effort you put into breathing, healing and existing with every once of your being, I decided that we should be in training together. For me it’s marathon training time and for you it’s more about training your mind, body and soul to rejoin us on this plane. So..it’s a race…are you in?! What’s a little sibling rivalry? So day one of my marathon training started today and, I’m not gonna lie..I was pathetic. You put on a much better show than I did today. But with every pathetic step I took I thought of you. If Nicholas can __ (Fill in the blank) then I can CERTAINLY run for 5 more minutes. I’ve got wonderful friends to train with me this year (in person and virtually) but you, my brother, are my true training partner this year. I’ve felt very guilty about being back in the States bc I have felt that I have not spent enough time concentrating my mind sparks on you. But now I’ve found my outlet…running has always been therapy for me and now it’s my time to concentrate on you. You’d think after 4 years of this, the thrill of visualizing the finish line and my family and friends would get old…it doesn’t! I’ve already started to do it for this year and I see all 5 of us there (plus Alice). So work hard some days and allow yourself plenty of rest, as will I, …after all..it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

All my love and confidence!
Love, P

Nicholas: We are so glad to learn that each day brings you a little closer to the surface and we are certain that with your massive will and all those who are sending you love and energy you will arrive soon. I know the breadth of support is world wide as I happened upon John Barlow’s site reading yours today. John and I were in the same dorm at The Fountain Valley School in the early 60’s. It certainly looks like you are getting good coverage and pray that it will speed up your retun. Love to you all. Tim and Lauren Schaefer.

NICKSTER !!!

DUDE-MAN-BRO !

It’s Jacob and I want you to hear me ,through the voice of another, saying things you’ve already heard, but I think it’s important to keep hearing these letters, with the chances they can wake you up gently.
I’ve been reading the many wonderful letters on your website daily and want to give thanks to all and their continued conscious awareness.
Music has been a big part of your life and I feel that you’re appreciating hearing it, along with these letters as you dream in your sleep.
Dream time is nice, believe me I know, and know that you know. We’ve had many a night boogying down with the reality that our sleep was crucial. But there is a lot going on tonight and you’ll miss out ,,so wake up !!!, right Now!!! DUDE-MAN-BRO !!!!
We’ll all be dancing with you spiritually on the dance floor.
I find myself continually conscious of you and your healing. We all know you’ll be ok and that you are just fine tuning some of your hardwiring in there.
So much focus and positive awareness has been pouring into you over the airwaves, internet, and meta-space. We all ask you to hear and receive these blessings and prayers. –DUDE-MAN-BRO—
You are a magical man and will continue to spread magic to all of us, who eagerly wait your arrival back in the States. Although your travels didn’t go as planned, they can be continued once you’re back in all your goodness. Let us plan on a group trip to anywhere you want to go, it’s on me ,and I mean it. So ,, Come on Now ! –DUDE-MAN-BRO– Wake up and lets go get some coffee over at Kliens Deli on Potraro Hill. – when you get back–
Don’t forget !, you have a lot of friends who are thinking of you every moment and want to see you on your dancing feet. We understand there will be a transition of wellness, but the sooner you wake up, the sooner we’ll all be hangin.
You are a SUPPER HERO amongst the crew and we need you !!!!!!!
I can’t wait to see your smiling face on our solar-winged-cloud-car. You were THE integral part of coordinating the assemblage and storage of the art car along with the Dragon and Ribbon tents. These were the KEY factors to all of our glorious experiences. It’s very important that you stick with us and mentally prep for next year. It’s all good and feel free to kick back a lot more this year and delegate. Tickets just went on sale and guess what ??
Your tickets on me,,, –DUDE-MAN-BRO– !!!
It maybe tough being the humble man that you are, but please accept the Love and Support that I and all of us are giving you. Take it with grace and embrace the blessings, for you will get better and better !!!
We must honor the process and Trust that it’s All Good !
I have a lot of projects in the works and on the horizon and would love to ask some of you advise and expertise on some things. I’m off to Sundance Film Fest, to see a Film Trailer some of my footage is in. It will be my first time at the Fest , where you’ll for sure be in mind and there in person next year.
I Trust that when you’re ready ,you’ll wake up and be willing to receive and accept all our love, support, and blessings. And please feel free to ask me for anything.
Now you can open your eyes and they will adjust to the brilliance of life–don’t worry,, all you need to do is “anticipate with Trust"!! It’s not to late–Don’t give up !!

____ DUDE-MAN-BRO !! _____ I LOVE YOU NICK !!!

And as you would say “CHUG MORE WATER”

From you dude-man-brother-man Jacob i– and Kittycam

Ciao for now

Nicholas,
I hope today is better than yesterday and tomorrow is better than today. As you can tell by this fine website that Colin has setup, you and your family are in the thoughts and prayers of a mini-nation of supporters around the world. It is inspiring to witness and a terrific tribute to you.
In this vein of thinking about you and wishing you a continued recovery, I could not help but recall the story that Pamela told to your father and me about the time you decided to take the Edgewater for test run with Kristin and her. It was a mid June day with plenty of sunshine and a bit of a chop; I was soon to learn that is the way you like it. After a leisurely ride up the Annasquam river, approaching Gloucester harbor, you turned to your sisters and said, “Hang on; lets see what type of boat Dad bought.”
Pamela said she was pretty happy to see Manchester harbor and that she had ridden on slower airplanes!
By all reports, you were fairly pleased with the outcome and I think it would be fitting if you did the same with the new boat this summer. (Although Pamela may be having root canal work that day.)
Nicholas, get well soon. I look forward sharing many new adventures with you…..although from reading this blog, I am well aware that my idea of an adventure is far less adventurous than yours!
Be well my friend! Jay & Myranda

Hearts in the Rain

You were stripped down to your boxers,
They were white.
I was small, standing in the doorway with my red rubber boots
Soaking up the rain.

And then you appeared, laughing and drenched.
Relieved, I left the rain, longing for even a teaspoon of your spirit, yet knowing my heart was too frightened to hold it.
Your heart, brother, holds no such fear.

Hi, Nick.

John’s message reminded me of the hiking trip where you hitched a ride up with some Christian group from school. That was funny. Maybe that was the same trip as the frog meal.

I’m so glad I got to see your movie in the theatre. For the first time you seemed so vulnerable to me, up there answering questions from the audience. I’m so proud of you for making your dream come true. You are the most honest person I know.

I miss you and I hope you’ll come back. And I’ll be there for you no matter what. I’ll try to be more a sister than an OT. I don’t care if you are frustrated or don’t remember me the same way. You have all of my love, big brother.

-Fio

Beloved Nick,
It seems you are never shy of presenting us all with great gifts, in your presence and in your temporary absence. The rate at which we have all joined together to support you has truly been remarkable. To see so much love pouring out of so many hearts, at such a constant and potent rate is, in truth, an honor to behold.
We here on the East Coast have just received quite the bundle from our lovely mother nature….3 feet of fluffy white snow! Which equals: A day of freshly baked cookies and brownies, a nice walk in the winter wonderland, and a snuggly afternoon on the couch! Isn’t mothernature Grand! She knows how to slow us down alright; how to take this fast paced east coast society and force us to take a seat for a few days. I believe in taking breaks, in resting, in journeying, in receieving the blessings in whatever form they may come and then carrying on, transformed, and slightly more awakened. That is why I know you will come back to us soon, in fully bright shining form. I honor your journey, I am sure it has taken you far…but we all honor your life so sincerely, as do you my friend. You truly are a great Human Being; you bring love and light to this planet and you love to feel your feet sinking into our beautiful mother earth… We all know within our hearts that you will be back with us soon, in your own time… and though I know the journeying is beautiful, remember we have much time to do that in the afterlife. You came here to live and to shine! I am counting on a funky burning man boogie this year and the funk Mob wouldn’t be the same withour you shine. SO, kiss the cheeks of the angels that guide you and bid them farewell( though they will walk with you always) for your earth angels are beckoning and we need your light!
Love and light,
Carlin

To N,

There once was a guy with a shock of red hair,
Who did many a thing most would not dare.
One day he received a wee bump on the head,
Which made him so sleepy he went right to bed.
Then after an operation many hours long,
Through dreams soft as whispers he floated along.
Until one evening under skies blue and cleared
He opened his eyes and two rainbows appeared.

Way to go – I love you,

K.

Lucy and Peter Leo and I are praying for you all with the sure hope that God will grant you all you ask for your son. Much love, Valerie

Dear Nick,
I don’t know if you’ll remember me, but my wonderful sweetheart Travis of String Cheese is a closer friend of yours. I met you at the last Burningman. I have an Eastern European accent and was mostly dressed as an angel, so if you can picture me like that, all the better. It’s only a costume, but hey.
Travis has always described you to me the way one describes a jedi – even before the accident, he’d tear up and get the Holy Ghost bumps just thinking of your incredible energy.
It’s been such an honor to get to know you better through this.
I just took the liberty of borrowing your amazing pair of eyes and went and gazed at the sunset (check out solarhealing.com, family and friends) till the last golden ray high-fived my third eye and hid behind the rolling hills. Three male deer (with horns big enough to receive satellite pictures from Sirius) observed me for a while, wondering what the bleep I was doing, then got it and went on grazing. It’s very beautiful on this planet, Nick. Don’t you forget that. There’s a lot of people you haven’t hugged yet and a lot of jokes at which you haven’t laughed.
It must have been very painful and scary taking that fall, but we wanted you to know you’ve done what you probably aimed for. You’ve tested the speed and grace with which our tribe would come together, even scattered outside the fence around our hometown in the desert. You clocked the time needed for our motley freaky superhero nation to wake up and move as one. We did good, didn’t we?
Nick, when you were falling from that tree, you probably didn’t want us to know you’re emergency-testing our Oneness. But we passed, didn’t we? Now, wake up. Take your nap, rest well, and then wake up. Please.
We all want our superhero back.
In the 3D, if possible.
See, you’ve touched the lives and made it into the dream space of people that have met you only once, and strangers pray for you like you’re their older brother or their childhood hero. You’ve become the banner of a new revolution, sweetheart, the shaman of a larger tribe. It would be so cool if you woke up and let them meet you in person and enjoy your amazing mind and spirit again. Remember how Luke Skywalker fixed his hand when Darth Vader cut it off? You can do the same and repair yourself everywhere! We’re supplying the white light.
May the Force be with you, beautiful.
So much love,
Travis and Ina

PS: Travis just looked at your picture again and said: “I don’t think Nick is gonna miss next Burningman. There’s no way.”

Love from the Center,
Light from the Mothership,
Fractal dust from the Desert

Okay Nicholas, I have been quite on the website because so many others have so much to say. Well, each of us has a job to do. Some of us are medical, some of us are the rocks. Well my job, and I tell you this every single day, is to watch your every move. I will see if you twitch a lip or an eye, if you move a finger or a toe. That is my job to catch every single move. So, my dearest friend, rest assured that I have that part covered. I have loved you for over 30 years and have lots and lots of years left.
Your step - Lucy

This is to the entire medical team
Thank you for taking care of Nicholas. He is my only nephew and without you, he most likely would be lost to us. I know that he is in room 14 with the sun shining on him and all of you making sure that he is comfortable and improving. As you read these notes, I am certain that you realize what an incredibly special young man he is, how many lives he has touched, and how important he is to so many. We all are awaiting his return and then you can get to know him as we do.
So keep going and know that what you do is AMAZING!!

Dear Nick,
My name is Michele Scaife and I am the wife of your cousin Stephen Scaife. I have met you once. You and your family had just come back from a sail in our 12′ “Bonita". I have been inspired by all of the positive comments and energy that has come your way from your dear friends and family. I just want to let you know that we, Scaife’s, are pulling for you. You are in our thoughts and in our prayers. From what I have read about you over the past week or so, I’d say there are alot of people betting that your have the inner strength to conquer this enormous challenge. We will continue to keep updated on your progress and we send to you all of the positive thoughts we can muster.

Michele

Nicholas,
Every night before we sit down to dinner, we say a little prayer for you and your huge, talented, wonderful family.
Hang in there. You WILL get through this. Period.
Breathing on your own today, sitting up in bed tomorrow, and walking the next day.
FIGHT ON!

Love,
Meg and Dan Galaburda

Brother Nick,

You my bro and i pray everyday that you be o.k. I’ve thought so much of you and am reminded of so many great moments with you. I want to see your recovery 100% so you can be back on the frisbee field in full action. Silky i love you and miss you as well. My love to all friends and family of Silky Smooth. He is a great brother i’ve been blessed to share time with on the great adventure of life. I’ll see you soon my friend and fellow soul. All the love,
maki

Nicholas,
Jay and I think about you and your family throughout each day, and we speak about you often. The staggering outpouring of love on this website is an enormous tribute to the man that you are. You have touched so many people so deeply and, in the words of Stuart Johnson, “it has transformed this writer". I think that in your deep sleep, you have made each of us better people. How fortunate for us, that as we read these wonderful reflections and tributes to you, we have to look inside ourselves and ask the hard question: do we measure up? As all of us talk about you, your adventures and your soul, we see what a truly uniquely gifted man you are. We are all so anxious to have you come home and to continue your adventures. You are an inspiration for each of us and for that we thank you.
How wonderful that you are breathing on your own! Such a huge step and reflective of your enormous inner strength. We are cheering you on, with each healing step you take. I am so pleased to think of you in a bright room, with the sun warming you.
Be well Nicholas! With much love,
Myranda and Jay

Hi Nick,

My name is Eric I have been friends with Colin since our days at Tufts. I have never had the pleasure of meeting you but I have be fortunate enough to meet a number of your friends at your place in San Francisco. After seeing what wonderful people they are I feel like I have met you in a way. I want to wish you a speedy recovery and I look forward to meeting you one day and hearing some stories about all these wonderful adventures you have had. Stay strong strong Nick.

Eric

Nicholas
At 6PM (NH time, 15 degrees, clear sky with bright moonlight), I had visions of you windsurfing off of Wings Neck and floating down the Kennebec River!! Always water. That’s where I find you in my thoughts. And you always wear that devilish smile which we all are anxious to see again when you are strong enough to find us.
But I REALLY want to hear of this adventure so I’ll be very patient.
xoxo Sheila

Nick,

I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you, praying and trying to send as much positive healing energy your way as possible over the past few days. And I will continue.

Thinking back to the times we have had together makes me realize even more how special a person you are. It is fantastic to see how many people you have touched.

Baird hinted that “the band” is getting back together which is fine by me.

I hope you have a speedy recovery.

Eric Johnson

Nick,

When I cast a glance skyward this evening at six, I will send thoughts of Kauhuhu, the Shark God, who native Hawaiians believe to provide strength and power. I hope and pray that the mana you receive from him will speed your recovery.

There is a tremendous light in you Nick, it comes through often and shines brightly. I see it in the glance after you score a goal, or the moment before you tackle the toughest bike trail. There is a joie de vivre that can never be extinguished. I look forward to seeing that light again soon.

Wherever your journey has taken you now, take care of yourself and those around you. Rest and heal.

A Hui Ho (until we meet again)

Shawn

Nick,

We’ve never met, but I know your family well. I hope you’re preparing yourself for some more travels in your sleep and hearing what everyone has been writing to you. We all hit some bumps in the road - some bigger than others - but we shouldn’t be afraid to climb over them. Stay strong and keep climbing.

Will Dore

Lucy and Peter:

Megan Gordon and I are sitting here at work looking out on Manchester, but our thoughts are in New Zealand with you and Nick. We just wanted to let you know that we are thinking and praying for you. Ginny Mcilvaine who works the other days would second that.

Love,
Betsy, Megan and Ginny

Nick and I met driving launches in Marblehead. Right away we clicked and for the next eight or so years had many adventures together. As one philosphy major to another we deconstructed, debated, and articulated any concept that words could be put to. As musicians we did the same thing, , and over the years we collaborated on many projects. I want Nick to know that despite our disagreements I value and love him for everything he brings to this life. Jay Smith

Dear Nicholas,
I have not met you yet but know your mom. She is a Board of Director here at HAWC in Salem where I work. Every chance I get I pray for you to get well. Today I saw your picture and read some of the letters your friends and family have sent. You lit up my screen with your handsome face and in your eyes I saw all the joy and adventure you hold within. So, here I am having faith in you. When you get well and feel up to it I would love to meet you. Until then, I will keep checking in and keeping the faith.
With love ,
Lillian

Dear Beautiful Nick,
What a blessing it was for me to meet you when you crashed
my Birthday party last year. Surely I have known you in
lifetimes prior as our connection runs much deeper than
it appears. I am sorry I never had that astrology reading
done for you for your Birthday last year. I am sorry we
did not get together at Thanksgiving. As you know, I am
thinking of you, praying for you, holding you close to my
heart and feeding you as much vitality and healing
nurturing, divine feminine energy that I can. I have at
least 30 other Goddesses praying for you, too. You can heal
and come back Nick, if you want to. I trust completely
in your decision to rest in another rhelm at this moment.
And we all patiently await your return. You are a
magnifiscent man whom I admire deeply. May you know deep
peace at this time. Many Blessings to all your friends
and family, as well. I pray for you all. And my Love to
you, Nick. Sincerely, -Sacha

hi. i’m not even 100% sure how this applies, but my sister lived across the street from the robbins
in manchester-by-the sea, and my brother chris roy and his wife annie (read) know nick. anyways, point made.
i am nothing more than an affected party. and grateful that your family has been so willing to ask for help and
lean on the armies of people nick’s accident has affected. what you’ve done is it given me the opportunity
to help, and for that i thank you.

i will pray for nick’s happiness and the continued strength of your family.

if there’s anything i can do for you in los angeles – please let me know.

ryan o roy

Hi Nicholas,

Thought it was time I drop my big bro a note now that I am back in the States. I never knew how much I would miss staring at someone day after day, but I do. I miss noting the tiny improvements that I know I saw in you every day. I went back to school today and everyone there is welcoming me with open arms, so no worries mate. It might be tough at times, but it’s nothing to fret over. This website has been a great place for all my friends and teachters to get to know you better. It’s incredible to me that the stories we all have to share are so similar. Whether you are in Burning Man Mode, in a Nick Buzz or chill-axin’ (to steal your recent favorite word while in NZ) with your families…the fabric of your being is a constant throughout all the roles you play. Even before the accident, you were present in so many aspects of my life, but it’s not until a time like now that I really had the opportunity to appreciate just how much you and Kristin are part of my daily thoughts. Whether it be a cool cafe or funky movie that I went to…or a dimented, bizarre siutation that I wish you had witnessed so you could re-live it with me later comeplete with voices and exaggerations…you have always been and will ALWAYS be in my thoughts and my heart. I do roll my eyes when I tell stories of the beatings I had to endure from my big brother…anything from tying my feety pajamas in knots to tying me to a pole in the basement with an extension cord (Jon..you are guilty to!) but people always said “it’s good for you, you’ll appreciate it some day"…and i guess that time is now.

The night of the accident you tried to scare Kristin and I by standing at our sliding door and saying “dont’ be afraid of the boogie man". I had a hard time going to sleep that night bc I had a fear that you were going to bust thru the door and scare the crap out of us. I thought of asking K to close the door, but I thought..that’s silly…I’m 27 years old..he can’t scare me like that. Truthfully, I was shaking. You have always had me on my toes, whether it be lurking in the shadows ready to pounce or awaiting a return call or meeting so we could discuss recent adventures. So bro, you’ve got me on my toes once again. I eagerly await your return so you can share your tales.
I love you Nicholas
love Pooh

PS To the nurses of ward 5A…it is SO good to read your postings. I miss you all as you were my very much a part of my daily life while I was in NZ. Thanks for taking such incredible care of Nicholas (and my parents!)

In the eight short years that I ‘ve known you, you have become one of my best friends, confidant and musical partner. Back in the days of No Doctors (we will rise again!) you were the keystone - as your songwriting and musical skills were far above the rest of us, and your vibrancy was a motivation for us all. I miss hanging out with you and ruminating on different facets of our lives - what the future holds for us and how we can make our present days magnificent. Those days are not over, this I know, we have many more adventures to go on, many more subjects to discuss, and many more tunes to play. You are a brilliant man, in mind and soul, and your friendship and vitality has been a powerful influence in my life .

Peace -

Baird

Hey there Nicholas,
I spoke with Colin’s girlfriend Hillary the other day and she told me about your situation. I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I’m thinking about you and hoping for the best. We only knew each other briefly, but if I had stayed in San Fransisco, I’m sure we would have become better friends. The last time we spoke was this summer when you called not realizing I had left San Francisco for Seattle. This was of course my fault for rushing away from the city without telling all my friends, but I loved your random phone call and really enjoyed that conversation. You will be in my thoughts as I hope for a speedy and thorough recovery for you. Take care, Emily Brand

Dear Nick,
I have finally pin-pointed the time when I first met you. Eventhough we have known eachother for only a few years, I feel like we have been friends much longer than that. You have become a dear firend to me in such a short period of time. Andrew (Partridge) and I were flipping through some photos of you to post on your website. We came across a picture from Schwendi weekend in January up in Vermont. You and ‘Bone’ were playing your guitars in the living room. The memory then became clear…….I was a new recruit into the Partridge Cousins’ circle of friends and it was my first Schwendi weekend. I must admit that I was a bit overwhelmed with all of the names I had to attempt remember, Your name certainly stood out because you were one of the guys playing the guitar. After engaging in a conversation you, I instantly knew how special you are. In addition to being muscially inclined, I admire your brilliance, free-spirit, and the way you look at life…….You are a lover of life and adventure. As we always see you with a big smile on your face, you promote joy instead of anger. You take in each wonderful moment you encounter and never take anything for granted. You have been to so many places and always have a story to tell from each of your adventures. This is probably your biggest adventure yet. When come back from this adventure, we’ll all be here waiting for you. We will be by your side throughout your every step on your road to recovery. We will help you get back into the things you love to do. You are in my thoughts and prayers day in and day out. Nick, stay brave, stay strong, and come back home to us soon.

Love, Courtney DiPaolo

Hi Big Nick,
You came into my life via jon and it has forever been changed because of your presence. You have contributed so much to Jon’s being that he sees you in everything he does. I love watching the two of you together and how easy your friendship is. The most important things I have learned from you is to be patience and pay attention to detail . The patience you take with everything you do to make things just right is more than admirable…from making the perfect cup of coffee to rigging your kite board. The Stavis’ refer to this patience and your attention to detail as “the Nick Buzz". Anyone who knows Nick has experienced the Buzz. This is the time it takes for you to prepare for your adventures. The last time I saw you, you were buzzing to your van to organize, reorganize, get things in place then went buzzing somewhere else for other “adjustments". I know in my heart you are “buzzing” right now to make sure everything is in place perfectly for your return. Jon, Minnie, little Nick, Callie and I are patiently awaiting your return so we can watch you buzz around our house. You know where your room is whatever time you should happen to arrive. We will be patiently waiting for you. Be strong. Love, Judy

Hi “Flow Master"!

Ralph here. I just arrived in Bangkok where we were planning to hook up for a continuation of the magical mystery tour.
So of course you show you in my dreamworld instead you trickster! I simply approached you as you were sleeping and you woke up with your sparkling,bright and whimsicle spirit. I was sleeping but you were awake! (and lucid and conscious).We will explore that koan next time Isee you in our continued philisophical musings.
Our discussions and reflections have been such a delight my friend. Your playfulness and adventurous spirit, brilliant articulation and wordsmithing,extraordinary knowledge on the widest range of topics,endless curiosity, openess to the unknown and eagerness to listen, as well your authentic presence often bring the best out of me and a sense of being so finely upon the razors edge of aliveness. Seeking out the miraculous in gatherings and celebrations of friendship,nature,music,art,dance is a helpful context in this exploration of aliveness and I continue to find myself in your company….The world is indeed a stage and what a show! So many moments where I find myself feeling and thinking,"This is it! and it doesnt get any better", you have been there.
And to see you in action and relating to what has been a coming togeather of an ever widening tribe of energetic,dynamic,creative,playful friends has been a joy. And to feel that embrace,the support,validation that is truely love is so healing and I know how much gratitude you have felt as you have been essential and somehow so central a part of this manifestation… We need you Nick!
My heart is broken open Nick. I hope you can hear me and feel my love.
Ralph

Nickster, I cherish the friendship we have developed in the last couple of years. We have been drinking deeply from the wellspring of life togeather.

Big Nick –

You are beautiful.
You soak up knowledge as you pass it by,
And share it when you can.
You take life where it takes you,
And your friends have met no match for a friendship such as yours.

As I wander through my life these last few days since your fall,
Everything I do reminds me of you.
Somehow every memory of you and I together has found a path to my present consciousness,
and each carries another with it.

Everything I enjoy, I want you to enjoy with me.
When you are there, we explore the depths of detail together.
When you are not, I keep the thought for later.

How often in life are we given the opportunity to present our innermost person
To another person, who will hear every word, and give back what you need most.
And then give you that sweet morsel of wisdom that will make you a better person when you’re done.

And I for one would not be who I am today were it not for your philosophies. Each one of them has made it’s way into the fabric of my life.
It might be on how to stretch a muscle, or how to start a car, or even how best to handle a situation like the one we are in right now. As I write, I think about what you would do.

Nick,
As all your friends and family know
From years of experience,
You know more than most of us combined
And, that much again about how to take your time.
(Yes, you do have a watch, but I am not sure I’ve seen you wear it)
How to travel down the path less traveled,
And when you reach your destination, you are always better for having taken that time.
Here is where you need it most – piece everything together as carefully as you can.
You’ve got me waiting once again, happily and hopefully
Awaiting your return, brother.

Love Jon

Hi Nick,
I have only known you for a few years, but have spent some great times with you and am very fond of you. You are a smart, interesting and engaging person with so much positive energy. Zan has told me many stories about the Partridges’ and Robbins’ family outings,and the countless memories with you all. I feel honored to know you, and Zanny has always talked about you with laughter and smiles. I hope you can feel the love and prayers that everyone is sending your way,;we are all counting on you to pull through! In Zan’s words, “if anyone can pull through this, Nick can".
We are thinking of you now and cannot wait to see you again!
Molly Calvert

Dear Nicholas……We go back a long way. I remember as a small child you were quite stubborn and very determined. I remember this mostly in regard to food. If it wasn’t smothered in ketshup you weren’t going to eat it. There were no two ways about it. Peter (and then Lucy) were incredibly patient and I think Teresa Heinz will be forever in your debt. If it wasn’t red you were not going to eat it. Happily, you out grew that particular phase and we have had many fun meals with you in Cataumet. You are a good eater now, alway appreciative, and never need ketshup. Peter and Lucy, as well as the rest of your family and all of your friends, are once again being patient. As long as you are as stubborn and determined as that little boy was I know we will see you again soon…..Lots of love…Joanie

Nicholas -

I know in my heart that you will wake up strong and press on with your beautiful life. You always keep everyone guessing (where you are and perhaps at times, how late you’ll be : )) and there is no other person that I seem to bump into more often than you. In Gloucester, in the woods on your bike, you are always a welcome and lovely surprise . Although I don’t know you as well as I would like, your depth, intelligence, and goodness is clear and is something that this world needs more of so we will welcome your return with open arms and big smiles. Your spirit is an inspiration! Dig deep and pull yourself to the surface - I know you will. We miss you and you are on my mind constantly. Take care carrot top!

much love always!

Kristin Ellison

Dear Nicholas, This is your family in Stonington (Jakie,Bridget,Chris,Jess and David) wishing you a speedy recovery. Your accident has mobilized the most enormous wave of hope that I have ever witnessed. Everyone is tapping into all of their spiritual avenues to spread the word and build a gigantic healing field to keep you safe and wrap you in a warm and healing blanket. As Margie recounted the story of your last question to Lucy before you went to bed one night when you were very young…"how did the universe start?” I would like to think it began with HOPE. I am in constant prayer for your safe return to all of us. GOD BLESS and see you in the morning. Love, Aunt Jakie and Family

Dear Nick and Family~
I heard the news and couldn’t believe it to be true! I know that Nanny is watching over you and remembering all the times she would watch you windsurf off our beach! You gave her such joy! I believe in the power of love and positive thoughts and so am keeping you and everyone in mine. Fair winds my friend ~ I hope to see you back on the board soon.
Love,
Ellen (Partridge) Johnson
(Cataumet/Scraggy Neck)

Hello Nick, I am a friend of your parents. Heard you had a nasty fall and what a place to do it. You have so many friends and family members who love you. Keep up the fight and come back to us. Love, Polly Cummings ( Wings Neck)

Nick,

I think about you constantly. I don’t sit here and fret, although I must admit that at times it gets hard to stay positive when I consider your fall. What goes through my head almost constantly is a wonderful dialectic between past and future. One week ago I was climbing up around Red Rocks in Gloucester. We had just received about a foot of snow and I was trudging through it, taking in lungfulls of clean, cool air and ruminating upon last year when you and I hauled our old snowboards up there after one our winter storms. Even though we had some snow the cover was thin; we didn’t care, we were on old gear and just wanted to fly down those rocks, make the turn at the bottom, get onto the trail and just feel, if only for a moment, that uplifting surge when one is gliding over the snow. I thought about that rock face with very little cover and your words, “Once you’re on that face you just have to stick it, there’s not enough snow to turn until the runout.” I then began thinking about our trips to the farmhouse in Vermont; the adventure of plummeting through the trees, the sublime, wonderful conversations while sitting around a fire afterwards. But then, instead of being sad, I had this tremendous sense of relief. I thought not of the past, but of the future. I had vivid thoughts about all that is to come. I saw you, in my minds eye, flying through the trees again. I look forward to skiing Yosemite’s back-country with you and I look forward to our sharing a cup of Hu-Kwa again soon. I also was remembering countless hours spent on that porch down in Cape Cod. Those days when our largest concern was whether or not the breeze was going to fill in are firmly entrenched in my memory and I know there will be plenty more just like that.

The amount of love being sent your way is amazing; but of course it is- you love life and people and experience so much and, in return, we all love you that much. You have a positive effect everywhere you go and you, by caring and loving and being Nick have changed our lives. On Friday night I saw Shane, Jacob and Josh Miller at the Lizard Lounge in Cambridge and then, later in JP, Brian, Dani, Kaleb and Sheryl. We sat around and talked and talked and talked about you. Your energy has changed this world and this world needs change; we all look forward so very much to your return to this corporeal realm. We miss you and love you so very much. We were talking about the Nantucket clambake and the vision of you in my mind was not one in the past, but was a vision of the future. Take your time my friend, use that incredible love and amazing mind to heal yourself, and we’ll see you in a little while.

I love you Nicholas, get well soon,

Will

This is Deborah and George. Nicholas is working on his staph infection; the neurosurgeon and the other doctors say they have plenty of ammunition to control it if the current drug doesn’t work. He has been resting a lot, but there are times he seems almost to be aware that we are talking to him. Be thinking of him on Thursday (Wednesday in the US)

D. and G.

My dear friend Nick,
As you slumber, take comfort in the sound of the loving voices of your family. They are with you corporeally as I am with you in spirit. I dream of you almost every night. You appear in dreamscapes so real I am not even aware that I am dreaming. We joyfully surf, ski and ruminate about the universe untill I rememer, almost as an afterthought , what happened. I exclaim, “Nick, shouldn’t we tell everyone your okay?” and you turn to me with a crooked smile and glint in your eye and say, “they already know…” Only then do I realize that I am in a dreamstate and wake up with the gleeful sound of your laughter dancing in my ears. These dreams are so real and fantastic and have such an impact on my waking life that I alternatly despair with the thought that we my never hike the glacier at Mt. Hood again, and delight in the knowledge that you are alive and well whether you decide to stay here or not. For my own selfish reasons, and for the others who read this and whose lives here enhanced by knowing you, I beg of you, STAY WITH US NICK!
I am sure that our last meeting was indeed not our LAST meeting. I remember clearly the sight of you disappearing into SFO to catch the plane to New Zealand. Your purposeful stride that says ‘I’m Nick and I’m HERE, wanna play?’. I remember our characteristically frank and deep conversation on the drive there; the gravity of which seems greatly increased in light of your recent twist of fate. When I related the events of the Solstice Soire the night before, you summed it up succinctly with the thought, ‘we are only aware of how alive we are when we are also aware of how close we are to death’. Your accident makes me take pause: I think of all the times we tauntingly wagged our finger at death. After all, we’re invincible right? In one week last summer we drank, danced, jumped out of a plane, soaked in hotsprings, skiied a mighty melting glacier after everyone else was gone and swam in its frigid meltwater! In the course of another short period of time however, you fell out of a tree (after all that), I totalled my poor Mom’s car (thank you whoever invented the arbag) and our dear young friend Amelia broke herself skiing in the remote Austrian alps. We may be immortal, but our bodies are in fact quite fragile.
Our interactions always culminate in a giddy sense of unexplored and unbounded possibility. You remind me of what is great about myself and I see those things in you too. You are a clear reflection of what I like about myself. I remember lamenting on the drive back from the airport how you were so incredibly busy, that the only time we had in recent months to sit and talk one on one was in the car. Your focus on your work is so intense. You could scarcely look up from the piles of videos, DVD’s and packages you were rapidly and expertly labeling untill the moment of departure. The world should see Anathema. Moreover, we should all see the works of beauty and intelligence that are still inside that inscutible red head of yours. You have just hit your stride, Nick. So come back friend, you have so much more to give.

Love,
J.P. Love

Nick, Peter & Lucy,
Our thoughts are with you (Baird, Beth & Me).. We have been through this and know exactly how scary and uncertain it all is. If my experiences will be of any use to you please email at rfulweil@suffolk.edu I’m sending all possible positive vibes your way.
Becky

Nicholas,
Hello from Myranda & Jay in Manchester. We have read through these amazing words of support and love and add our very best wishes, thoughts and prayers to them. It is very evident to us what a remarkable man you are Nicholas and all of the positive energy you have sent out to the universe will come back to you as a healing force. We are looking forward to having you home. We think about you and your family every day.
With love, Myranda & Jay Somers

I’m Sheila’s (Peter’s sister) husband so I guess that makes me Nicholas’ uncle. Since I married into this unusually gifted family I’ve often wondered about Nick and what makes him tick. That I may never know makes him seem all the more fascinating. I believe in restorative powers as I suffered a potentially paralyzing trauma to the head this past summer from a 30 foot dive into five feet of water (yes, I’m the intellectually inferior member of the clan). There’s a force inside that wills one to live and recover and I’m guessing that Nicholas has more of this mo-jo than the average bloke. He will recover and he will continue to set and exceed his goals, although the process may take a different road..but so what? He’s just going to surprise us again!!
Godspeed to you lad.

Arch

Greg & Caroline Gross here:

Nick, you’re a new acqaintence for me, but I have known your parents for some time in a variety of ways, having met your father on a foredeck many years ago. It is clear that you have touched a lot of people in pretty convincing ways, and as I read through what people have written, I am impressed. I particularly like the business about skidding into the finish with champagne in one hand and strawberries in the other whooping about the quality of the ride. Another little steadying thought came to my mind as I read all the affectionate endorsements of your life, and it’s present hassles, that seemed to not only identify and evoke you, but also many of the people who have you on their minds now. Hunter Thompson had a fictional attorney named Raoul Duke who guarded him in his Gonzo antics as he swerved hooting and hollering through the Fear and Loathing landscape. The comforting words of Raoul Duke in the worst of times have always lifted my spirits, and I hope they might lift yours, and those of the people who love you.

“When the going gets weird,. . . .the weird turn pro.”

Raoul Duke
awb Hunter Thompsen

This deal is weird, but it seems clear that you and all around you have definitely turned pro. You are in our thoughts and we’ll want a full report upon your return from this particular sortie. All best.

Greg Gross

SUNDAY, January 16 at noon

Nicholas, I met you when you were only three years old. A tussled head of red hair and a great smile. You were so full of energy but more distinctive to you – full of questions.

I remember that “Ludy” would spend lots of time with you just before bedtime. Usually she would read stories and then you and “Ludy” would just talk. One time, you kept asking question after question and finally “Ludy” had to put a limit on it so she said, “OK, Nicholas’, just one more question and then you go to sleep.” So, you did ask just one more question: “How did the universe start?”

Well, I hope that when you get back and return to us from these travels that you will know how the universe started, and will share that knowledge with us all.

Nicholas, we are all praying for you and longing for your return. There is so much love out there for you and I know in my heart that you must feel it.

Your Aunt Marge, (Lucy’s sister from Hartford)

Dear Nick,
I do not know you, but I know your father’s family well….therefore I know that you come from a line of huge strength , determination and FEISTINESS. Having read the wonderful letters on this site I have learned that you also have a generous and loving spirit…this is your greatest strength.
My whole family sends love and healing thoughts to you and your family.
Lisa Field Eustis

Nicky—hows it going brother man!—-Its Kanguroo here or Romero, whatever you decide is appropriate. I just wanted to give you an exciting update on our Costa Rica project. So I have gone ahead to get Luis, the architect to draw up some preliminary site plans so that we can move closer to seeing our dream realized down there in paradise. Yeah bro!!!! I imagine you are out there surfing the great unknown to glean valuable information from the ethers. I have had some great conversations with you in my dreams, so thanks for coming to visit. I miss your physical presence, but you are nonetheless totally present in my world. I have been working hard to complete our latest album project and then I will be off to Kauai on the first of February. Thats right my man, hopefully I will catch some good swell. You know the invitation still stands for you to come and chill on the islands with me. I will be there until March 6 and there is always a space for you. Lets go catch some surf, Kauai style!!! Until then I will see you in dreamtime and patiently await your return to the more earthly realms. Oh by the way, I have decided to move my ass to San Francisco sometime in the next year, so I can’t wait to see more of your ass. We will be undoubtedly continuing our experiments in living life to the fullest. Lets talk soon, OK? Love you!!!!!—–MK

(To those of you not part of Nicholas’s family and don’t know us, we are friends from Marblehead, MA where the Robbins lived for a long time.)

Marblehead is working on positive prayers and thoughts for Nicholas’s healing and recovery. You’re all such a long way away, but fortunately with venues such as this, we can share our hearts and love with you all. It is truly a godsend that you are in New Zealand with such wonderful caregivers. Love- Westy and Julie

dear nick, may your recovery be quick and complete. God bless you. from sam, a friend of your aunt, sheila weathers